New X-Com Game Coming? - News and Siteseeing
 | While the original XCOM (UFO) is in my Top 3 all-time, none of the later versions recaptured the magic for me. |
| Interceptor was neat except for the combat. |
| Of course, there was The Dreamland Chronicles: Freedom Ridge, that had the potential to be the greatest thing ever, but was cancelled. |
| I was going to buy a PS2 for Dreamland |
 | ps2 is almost worth it for god of war! |
Office Pranks - ebaumsworld.com
| "Take a can of non gel shaving cream, and put it in a freezer. When it is frozen remove the bottom of the can and put it in co worker's drawer. When it melts it expands and explodes all over everything." |
| put a bomb in your officemates desk! |
| its the funniest! |
| Wait for a coworker to walk away from his PC and leave it unlocked. Do something harmless, like leaving a message, and lock the computer. Convince him you have serious hacking skills. Repeat until every bug that happens on his computer he attributes to your magic |
| magical! |
| My absolutely most favorite prank I have saved for last. It is so simple to do and yields such nice results. Simply pop out the 'm' and 'n' key on someone's keyboard and reverse the two. Any flat tool will work. Just pry it with little pressure and they will easily come right off. Then just sit back and watch the confusion. |
| * |
| I don't see that working with most |
| Yeah, the people who look at their keys and wouldn't realize things have changed aren't good choices for pranks. |
| Teasing the mentally retarded isn't my idea of a good time. |
| I wouldn't notice they changed, but I wouldn't stop typing correctly |
| Yeah, but even people who look at their keys would probably realize something was different |
| Changing their keyboard layout in Windows to dvorak is much more fun |
| or to a german keyboard with even more subtle key differences |
Another great example of shitty local news teasers
| Coming up at 11, Seven On Your Side shows us how to deal with zombie debts. And, a machine that blows away hail storms. All coming up next. |
Global cooling - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
| so, 30 years ago, there was global cooling?! |
| Al Gore must be rolling in his grave |
| man, americans don't mess around |
| they take their NASCAR seriously |
"Spare me your space-age technobabble, Attila the Hun!"
| Now that is a Futurama line I have to use at work way more often |
| if only you knew someone named attilla the hun |
| or someone who referred to space vessels as canoes |
| Uhh, while it is certainly not my place to lecture you about Futurama, the reason the line was funny was that Attila the Hun was being technically correct |
| the best kind of correct |
| So when a Ph.D. in fanciness is going off about a space system, I should use this line. |
| wonder what a thesis in fanciness would be |
| "extra fancy rice... worth the extra money?" |
| Not as much as extra virgin oil. |
| "fancy feast. The cat's meow?" |
You know those randomly generated spam From: names?
| Somehow it stumbled upon one of my distant relative-in-laws names |
| A person who isn't entirely coherent |
| So its hard to discern whether its spam or not |
| I suppose given enough time, we'll all be getting and receiving emails from names of close acquaintances |
| you should just ignore all email, like me |
Former GameCube developer calls early Wii graphics sloppy - Joystiq
| amazing that the wii is selling so well |
| worse graphics... imprecise controls... |
| It's so cheap, it's hard to justify not buying it |
| a gamecube is cheaper |
| you can buy a cube + a ps2 for cheaper than a wii |
| or a cube + a ds :) |
| But a Wii is a Cube, since it supports full emulation, and its also a NES, SNES, N64, Genesis, and TurboGraphx16 (once the library gets more populated) |
| no sega master system?! |
To torment Tony:
|  |
Ack, I positively hate the new [SomethingAwful page layout
| Although this has some redeeming zaniness to it: |
|  |
 | I guess it has the benefit of not having to scroll past the length of an entire feature article to see if you've missed a day of updates |
| It has the feel of every other commodity internet humor site, and that saddens me |
| Also, where's today's fucking Photoshop Phriday |
| Oh, there it is, but it isn't titled correctly |
| I'm not seeing the ALOD? They can't have gotten rid of that, it's so fun seeing how fast they can destroy guestbooks |
| Hmm, yeah definitely not seeing any ALOD, even in the archives. |
| you're right about the feel of the site. It seems like a thrown-together April Fool's page |
| The need to explain itself with that description in the bottom right seals the deal |
| Yup, still hate it. |
Game Crush: Games That Need Sequels
| Hey, thats actually a decent list you found there. |
| But who's the loser in the picture at the beginning of the article? |
| I could do without a sequel to double dragon |
| river city ransom, however... |
| Yeah, but there's nothing too stupid on the list, like Yo! Noid or something |
| ET |
look what I found on the interweb. Someone's futurama episode ideas
| man, such a lack of originality |
| its like they took an episode that existed, and substituted some random difference into it |
| some of these episode ideas aren't that bad |
| it doesn't really add much just pitching story ideas though, he needs to flesh some of these out into gross fanfiction. |
| I'm not sure I condone the anti-Space Pope sentiment of the last concept. |
Saw Smokin' Aces
| Featuring a 50 caliber rifle, being fired some 50+ times |
| Deliciously realistic results |
| Not sure I've seen that class of firearm used in a movie for more than one shot before |
| Worth the price of admission just for that fire raining from the sky |
| I'm terrible about gun fights in movies because I remember the sound of the shooting and mentally count the number of shots fired |
| This one has everyone reloading every 3 seconds |
| It's the most gun violence I've seen in a movie with no Tarantino involvement |
| ah, good. Somebody in the movie has evidently ever played a video game |
| The entire movie feels like a bunch of dudes who liked video games and Tarantino movies thought of every crazy character or scene they could and mashed it into one movie |
| It is completely without focus and suffers from trying to do too much and failing at most of it |
| But Ryan Reynolds makes an enjoyable lead, which I was glad to see after his fun portrayal of Hannibal King in Blade 3 |
| But seriously, that movie could have fucked up everything else, those 50 caliber rifle shots were all I needed |
wikipedia is a great source of amusement
| For example, the Harlem Globetrotters are based in Phoenix |
Playstation 2 surpasses Playstation 3 in weekly sales - Gaming
| Tee hee. |
| I don't see that the ps2's graphics are much worse than the ps3s (especially since I don't have an HDTV) |
| and I could care less about BluRay |
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
| Dude, I think this diagram is one of the finest pieces of modern art I have ever seen: |
|  |
| pants is a verb and a noun |
| Tony, you're so pants. Bam! Adjective! |
| wikipedia's entry is disappointing |
| except "Pants is considered by some an inherently funny word, e.g. the Spongebob Squarepants episode about ripped pants." |
| Worth including the full translation: Bison from Buffalo, New York, who are intimidated by other bison in their community, also happen to intimidate other bison in their community. |
| Maybe someday we'll make a new version called Trousers |
| also worth noting is the description of a garden path sentence (which this is) |
| And the idea that there's a field called psycholinguistics |
| Would have been a Fox Force Five joke: "Would you hit a woman with a baby? No I'd hit her with a brick" |
| if only it made it past the pilot... |
| Fatties muck up the language: "Fat people eat accumulates." |
 | now I have a taste for accumulates |
| Hmm, I have to think of using more sentences like this professionally. |
| Tony, I think you might be pregnant with all these cravings. |
| Pregnant with a rocket launcher! |
| hopefully a small one |
| I've noticed that many Fark headlines are unintentionally garden path sentences |
| "Machine developed that can convert trash into energy" |
| Or rather, they seem like them after a few readings and then you realize the submitter is profoundly mentally handicapped. |
| if they only removed the that |
| You should edit the Pants wikipedia entry to mention an irreverent weblog with zany banter covering topics of video games, technology, football and pop culture. |
Strange unit encountered today
| The cubic gigaparsec |
| Yes, thats right, a cube that is a billion parsecs to a side |
started playing "Ur Quan Masters"
| the open source star control ii |
| so far, its quite enjoyable |
| it is identical in gameplay to Star Control II, which is in my all time top 3 |
| I'm very interested in how it goes for you. |
| Don't forget a nice high-res copy of the original paper map |
| I like editting the map in an image manipulation program to mark where I've been and where I found lots of minerals or interesting things. |
| I could have matt print it on his megaprinter |
Resident Evil 5 - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
| wikipedia has replaced google as my go-to source of information |
| looks like RE5 is going to be on the xbox 360 and the ps3 |
| ... In 2008 |
| I think in 2 years the console war should be interesting, and resolved enough for me to decide on a next-gen console |
| I'm tempted to go back and play re's 2 and 3 |
| there are versions of 2 and 3 on the Gamecube, but apparently they only made a dozen copies of each |
| the N64 version of RE2 is actually the best one since it has both discs on one cartridge, with higher res graphics. The only thing that suffers are the FMVs, which are pretty grainy. |
| n64 > cube? |
| and are the other games as fun as 4 and 1? |
| and I forgot about Resident Evil 0 |
| I think they're equivalent. They didn't really bump up the graphics on the GC ports too much. |
| 4 is easily my favorite but I've enjoyed them all. RE3 is my favorite after that. |
Web Design Book - How to fake … a Web 2.0 logo
| Warren. According to this, we are not very web 2.0 ready |
| no beta. the very opposite of bright colors... |
| is Yao a cute mascot?! |
| Silly name? Check. Odd website address? Check. Some green? Check. Cute mascots? Check. |
| The money 2.0 should be rolling in any time now |
Tony, I can't keep the secret any longer: I've been cheating on you.
| remind me of why I care |
| Maybe you don't, but it's important to me. |
| oh. let me pretend to care. |
| About 6 months ago I started working with a guy who happens to be your doppelganger. |
| oh noes, what shall I do?! |
| He's like Tony 2. Or perhaps Tony West. |
| It is uncanny how similar you two are. |
| 5x5? |
| It reached the breaking point today when while we were sitting around talking, he was hitting himself in the leg with a hammer. |
| I have been known to do that |
| His whole demeanor, philosophy, and all the interactions with me are ridiculously similar to your own. |
| what are his feelings on Futurama? |
| Which is saying something for someone as unique as you. |
| He watches Adult Swim, but isn't as fanatical as you. The similarity is more in personality, philosophy, approach, and eccentricities. |
| Not all things are the same, but several things are. |
| He's a larger you. |
| Maybe 3% taller and 20% plumper. |
| But same body type. |
| Anyway, its totally uncanny and I feel guilty for getting my Tony fix from him instead of the Original. |
| I don't give a shit. |
| er, wait |
 | I'm horribly jealous! |
| Seems like a whole 'nother class of nerd compared to the Wii and PS3 campers |
| especially since all the big nerds already warez their copies |
So the Passat'll tick over to 20,000 miles tomorrow
| Since this site started with so much discussion about that, I thought it should be mentioned |
| Nearly 4 years now |
| No issues, very happy. |
| wow, 20000 miles. thats not a lot |
| I don't like the outside world, and I have no friends. |
| you could go to disneyland. everyone there is your friend |
| Actually, not so much. Especially the strollers. They'll get yer ankles. |
| because a passenger jet is like a thousand times bigger |
| and bigger is better! |
| The passenger jet is 3.4 times longer, 6.4 times heavier, has 5.5 times more range, has 5.2 times more thrust, carries 300 times more people, but is 2.4 times slower and about equally deadly. |
| But the passenger jet is slightly easier to bring down. |
OK, I have to set the record straight on the previous article
| Please, let me speak. |
| I did not read the article in its entirety. I skimmed it briefly and saw a few words. |
| The Star Control section of that article was, in fact, heavy satire. |
| Let me explain: |
| The Dnyarri could never be a playable race: its not a viable experience, and there are none left in the traditional era |
| The "Alogolites" appear to be a typo of Algolites, as obscure of a species as there is. This would be like saying "Our new Star Wars game will let players be familiar species like the Betshish, Jiivahar, and the unforgettable Reussi." |
| To not list Yehat, Ilwrath, Ur-Quan, or VUX as the most desired player experiences betrays the author's satire. |
| Silliest of all is the quote: "But the best feature of all would be the elimination of traditional menu-screens and the text-heavy information HUBS" Or basically gutting the very best feature of the series. |
| And suggesting that any space sim should be played from a first-person cockpit perspective where you push buttons to fly the ship (our version of Star Control would be almost completely controlled from a first-person perspective and only be navigated by realistic looking icons), is clearly just trying to be over-the-top silly |
| The finale settles all doubt: Easy-to-learn, action-packed, and highly interactive, the new Star Control would set new standards in complexity through simplicity. |
| Since Star Control II was all of the desired adjectives (very easy-to-learn, action-packed, and highly interactive) |
| Finally, I am a big stupid idiot for getting angry at satire, and my error was in not reading it completely. |
| GO GET YOURSELF KILLED |
|  |
| I think you'd like this article, Warren |
| not sure why it was on ign's ps3 page, but it talks about some old games that need new implementations |
| I'd definitely like a fully 3D update of Bionic Commando. |
| I'd be hard to pull off, but could be awesome. and they should let you jump |
| explain |
| What made Star Control II one of the greatest games ever was Paul Reiche III and Fred Ford's writing and imagination. |
| that couldn't be translated into an episodic MMO? |
| The thing that plagues MMOs is the fact that one player cannot change the world. |
| In the Star Control games, the player would single-handedly save several races, the whole universe, and solve countless ageless mysteries |
| What IGN is lobbying for is Freelancer with the Star Control Hypermelee interface. |
| Fucking idiots. |
| you have excellent points. however, you make your assertions based on the belief that MMO's can't evolve beyond what they're like today |
| An actual new Star Control game, a Toys For Bob-written and designed game, just wouldn't be funded in the modern area of gaming |
| maybe if he found a way to market it as a Harry Potter game... |
| Some of the biggest MMO failures have been based upon franchises that had a single star: Luke Skywalker, Neo, etc. |
| Star Control is like the Elder Scrolls, in that a weak minded money hungry fool would try to make it an MMO, but anyone who realized what made it unique and wonderful would consider it heresy |
| I can't believe that you would further advocate the disappearance of the single player experience |
| I just think MMOs could be so much more than leveling and guilds |
| Excuse me for wanting compelling story, not yet another opportunity to compete against a 13-year-old online |
| I certainly would like to be immersed in a universe where I can be "the one" |
| Well maybe you should draw up a design document and send it to some studios |
| But you don't want it to be freeform. |
| I claim the current MMOs aren't freeform |
| Explain how a million subscribers can all be "the one" in a shared experience. |
| In conclusion, I think you're correct. I fricking hate playing games online |
| Also, being able to jump in Bionic Commando would be yet another dilution of a concept. You're a fucking heavy cyborg, you can walk slowly or use your arm: that's it. |
| why can't his legs be bionic too? |
| Well lets give him telekinesis, a lightsaber, the ability to stomp on enemies heads, and the ability to roll into a ball and lay bombs also. |
| that sounds like fun! I give it the green-light |
| I have erred. This article has only caused rage |
| I just wanted to jump sooooo bad in bionic commando. Just a little bit, even |
| It should be noted that the original article for this thread was satire, since the Alogolites are a made-up species |
| was it satire or incompetence? |
| Saying the Dnyarri should be a playable race is about as clever of an inside joke as you could make. |
| typo? |
| The Star Control universe would result in an MMO where all player species had crippling stereotypical behavior. Oh, I'm a Spathi, I have to retreat from every battle. Whoops, I'm a Mycon, I'm a brainless fungus! Or I'll be an Orz and be an incomprensible being from another dimension? These are not viable player experiences. |
| walking is so inefficient |
| That would look so cute. |
| cute is not what I'm going for |
| I'd prefer something more rollerblade-like, though |
| Would your wife allow you to be seen with her, if you were wearing and using those? |
| don't know. don't care |
| Then I expect to hear stories about you efficiently wheeling about sometime next week. |
| then expect some disappointment |
| Why? You have the means to acquire them. |
| but the apathy to not acquire them |
 | What a pathetic existence. |
| I'm no slave to apathy. I embrace it. |
So the Ghost Rider movie is going to be the worst movie ever, right?
| All signs point to yes. |
| but Nicolas Cage won an Oscar! |
| I fucking hate Nick Cage. |
| you can't just throw "worst movie ever" around like that |
| I'm not. I'm serious. |
| yeah, I bet it won't be as bad as Highlander 2 |
| Ghost Rider is already a dumb comic book |
| The visual effects look particularly atrocious, and the one-liners are beyond cringeworthy |
| the hulk was pretty fricking bad. I bet Ghost Rider won't be as bad as it |
| This Ghost Rider movie is getting a lot of hype, though. |
| I contend it won't even be the worst comic book movie ever |
| I think all of my unique dislikes are specifically targetted by this movie |
| try to watch the Hulk, it will change your mind |
| revisiting The Hulk, it's really not as bad the second time around. You just have to change your expectations and realize it is not like the Lou Ferrigno series |
| dude, you are so fricking wrong |
| ang lee is the worst director ever |
| uwe boll? |
| just don't think of it as a Hulk movie |
| michael bay? |
| yes, worse than all of these. |
| a lot of bad movies on this list |
| Anus Magillicutty? |
| although I liked Chairman of the Board. I think tha disqualifies me from discussing the merits of movies |
18 lanes wide seems awfully wide
| I can seem to remember 6 or 7 lanes to a side in Los Angeles, but 9? |
| It would boggle the mind to see that busy |
| The biggest we seem to get in the Bay Area is 4 or 5 lanes per side. |
| I think it would just look like a big parking lot when busy |
| I think expressway efficiency goes way down after 3 lanes |
| I think trying to change lanes 9 times in a row would be stupid |
| I admit it would be nice to see it with some fancy robot drivers |
| well, like most american drivers, people just get in one lane, irregarless of whether they are passing |
| Hehehe, true. |
| and exits in the middle of the road too |
| Or maybe no exits at all and it just ends at the edge of a cliff |
| sounds from that article that texas could benefit from that |
| drive through everything.. including suicide! |
| When they get to hell, they all have to merge into a single lane of dirt road |
This image delights me
|  |
| There is such a thing as a homosphere |
|  |
| does that mean there is such a thing as God's Love too? |
| Not so much |
|  |
| I was Googling for the hogosphere, but Google kept suggesting homosphere |
| So I had to see if it was a real thing |
| god's love is composed of bibs |
| So in the RPG version we must go to the 8 temples and get the 8 bibs of God's Love before the villians do, but inevitably turn them all over to the villians, before a major plot twist and the eventual awkward Lucas-like romantic scene and saving of the world? |
| interestingly.. pigosphere also suggests something unhelpful |
| Pigs, weasels, not a big difference. |
| it suggested biosphere for me |
| Buuu-ddy |
| oh. I get it now. I was convincing myself that google was adapting to our queries |
| |
Whats the best movie based on a video game?
| I remember Mortal Kombat being quite pleasing |
| bowl full of good fun |
| The 2 minutes of DOOM that was shot like DOOM was interesting |
| Tomb Raider was also pretty good. I even liked the 2nd one |
| House of the Dead 2 was great, much better than the first one |
| A wikicomplete list |
| but I was also one of the only people to like the first one too |
| did that go straight to video? |
| straight to SciFi Channel, then to video |
| you should correct wikipedia, Foiba |
| I really liked the Resident Evil movie with Leeloo and Marc Antony |
| seeing that list really makes me want to see the Kirby movie. I don't know why |
| yeah, the RE series is pretty good. There's a third one coming |
| Seems like a Kirby movie could just as easily be a porn |
| Box office success of video game adaptations |
| amazing that they seem to keep paying Uwe Boll to make poorly performing adaptations |
if you had only one console to take to a desert island... what would it be?
| I have fond memories of the SNES |
| Lots of good rpgs and platform type games |
| the ps2 also has quite a library of games... plus all the ps1 games |
| for specifically on a desert island, I'd say the DS Lite. You've got the library of all the GBA titles, which include a lot of SNES ports |
| and pokemon! |
| thats a good argument for ds over snes.. what about the ps2? |
| They're not going to catch themselves |
| PS2 would be a good bet too, it's got a huge library now. It's interesting to remember that it technically was a Dreamcast competitor |
| yeah, it sure has aged well |
| I'm thinking god of war 2 will be just as good as anything on the xbox 360 |
| Well I've already replayed all SNES games enough to cover a few desert island lifetimes |
| If we're using these consoles for entertainment, I'll take my Gamecube. I think I still have a few hundred hours of entertainment in unlocking everything in Resident Evil 4 and Tales of Symphonia alone |
| If it is for survival purposes, I think that top gull-wing part of the PS3 and its other components might be useful |
| you think the ps2 doesn't have a comparable game to tales of symphonia (it has a port of RE4) |
| I'd much rather have the Gamecube controller. And Super Smash Bros Melee, Monkeyball, and Zelda. |
| And I'm sure I could find an island monkey to play Mario Party 7 with me. |
| I have a cordless ps2 controller. its very pleasant. |
 | I rock at minigames! |
| and you can play gba games on the cube too ;) |
| Although I'm probably an idiot to not say my Wii, since it plays all Gamecube games perfectly. |
| I still think turning a PS3 into parts would be more useful on the desert island: |
|  |
| I think your preference for the cube stems from your familiarity with it. I think the ps2 is far more superior |
| Could make a nice tray, knife, reflector... |
| boat |
| Grill |
|  |
I'm sad that we are not the first hit for "mom warfare"
| Of course, it is stealth mom warfare, so I can't be too sad. |
| It is amazing how much more crap is on the Internet compared to two years ago. |
| especially since Pants hasn't been updating |
| I guess we kick-started a era of crap. We got it going, the Internet took it from there. |
| Now that we're back, the feedback loop could cause the destruction of the tubes themselves |
| it's not like we're going to run out of tubes |
| I blame myspace |
The Return of Foiba
| So, what zany adventures have we missed? |
| Finishing my bachelor's degree in English literature, I took the logical next step and enrolled in culinary school. |
| the one where Chairman Kaga teaches? |
| Sweet. |
| if you can call it teaching |
| I'm very glad to hear you're not homeless. |
| or shipped off to one of those forced labor WoW camps |
| Click faster! |
| Do you still live in a house full of video gaming drunks? That seemed to be the source of many an anecdote. |
| Nope, just one WoW-addicted roommate now |
| and his girlfriend who hates WoW |
| I think all girlfriends hate WoW if their boyfriends play it. I'm sure that will last. |
| Poor girl doesn't stand a chance. |
| I know a guy who married a chick who plays MMORPGS with him |
| Yeah, but this is like sexual preference, converting someone who is not already of the persuasion is very difficult. |
| how do bisexuals fit into your analogy? |
| With a lot of lube? |
| Anyway, it seems like if you have a roommate with such an obvious weakness, you could wield great power over him. |
| especially when you throw lube into the equation |
| his room is messy enough as it is |
| This is quite an epidemic. Did I see it has passed 8 million victims? |
| the funniest thing about it is that he dramatically quit almost a week ago, uninstalling it and everything. Serious business. |
| did he sell his accounts? |
| Oh man, now you wield even more power |
| and then I see him installing the new expansion this week, his excuse being that he had already pre-ordered it and they wouldn't take his money back |
| since we're just talking about WoW in my miraculous return thread, here's a picture of my cat  |
| Hey, I have that same printer! |
| I'm such a dork. |
| Well now we have to know what the name of the cat is, and the witty story behind it. |
| and how it got up there |
| did it climb the shelves? or jump up from the printer? |
| His name is Catcat and your guess is as good as mine |
| The cat so nice, they named it twice. |
The fire department just called me!
| Like, a real guy! |
| But all he wanted to do was to remind to check the batteries in my smoke detector! |
| wow, thats nice |
| It was almost like a prank call, but, uh, it wasn't! |
| but it also means he is a little bit less likely to die |
people seem to be polarized by A Scanner Darkly
| seems to be a movie either people hate or really like |
| Odd, I found that while I didn't hate it, I didn't love it. I thought it was unique, and something everyone should see. |
| some people, when I ask them about it, erupt in a ball of rage |
| others claim its a very great, unique, sci-fi movie |
| I have met no one who is apathetic about it |
| I dunno about "great unique sci-fi", but I think the how-many-speeds-is-this-bicycle scene and the car-breaking-down scene are must-see |
| I think it has a very unique look and feel |
| Feel? |
| yes. pace, story, characters. |
| It sure did take them too long to make that movie to have it not reach a wider audience. |
| I seem to remember it was endlessly delayed developing the rotoscoping techniques and the scramble suit in particular |
| I think they could have effectively made the movie without the scramble suit |
| it didn't really add that much to the movie |
| I think that is like saying "They could have made the Lord of the Rings without making the hobbits so tiny, they could have been the same size as everyone else" |
Should we try and bring Foiba back?
Poll Results
Total votes: 7
| We could lure him with pots to break... |
|  |
| I think I have a pot picture hosted somewhere |
| The one we used in the old threads is long gone |
| So I made this one |
| well done, sir |
| 1-to-1, we are at an impasse |
| State your argumennt |
| pots are expensive |
| I propose email |
| and he's just going to break them |
| It's cheaper than letting him kill our boss |
| Are you afraid of rejection? Do you think we're better without him? |
| no. I think foiba is the dean's peanuts |
| You just want to have me all to yourself? |
| i don't |
| Then why not ask? |
| ask already |
| D'oh! Now I need to figure out what email addresses to try! |
| you are a google machine. i have faith |
| Email sent. NOW WE PLAY THE WAITING GAME |
 | WHAT |
new tony
|  |
| so, lately I have preferred taking naps to video games |
| I like to complain about the young people in the mall |
| I am old |
| |
| also, the pain in my joints predict the weather |
| Old, Tired Spock agrees: |
|  |
| And don't forget Old, Tired, Kirk: |
|  |
So I was watching Roswell That Ends Well
| And they need a new microwave, and so they decide to steal one from the Army base |
| The dish they target is not a microwave dish (it is too large) |
| But what is truly funny is that after they shoot the missile at the base, they fly past an actual microwave relay tower! |
| |
| That's so stupid, it had to be intentional. |
| and there is no way truman could have busted out of that box, either |
| lets not forget, metal in a microwave _doesn't_ smell like blue |
| oh wait. |
| IT'S A CARTOON |
| Uh, the point isn't that they got it wrong. That is obviously forgiveable. I'm not completely insane. |
| Its that they got it right later on. |
| Smart enough to draw a real microwave relay tower, but not smart enough to make the microwave dish correct... its noteworthy. |
| ... |
| ... |
Geek.com Geek News - Japan edits Resident Evil 4
| man, those comments sure get filled with rageahol |
| Japan got an easy version? Wow that is a huge turnaround from the NES where games like Super Mario Bros 2j was deemed too hard for America. Bionic Commando is another good example. |
| Wonder if the posters thought they were going to accomplish anything with their comments? |
| they accomplished tonytainment |
| But did they realize that when they composed these comments? |
| it starts off semi-intelligible |
| and then devolves rapidly |
| This sounds like you should plot the trend |
| it pleases me |
| You know, I paste that mangled ASCII art into a fixed-width font, and it is still mangled. |
| it has a poster named "I suck at internets" |
| But I see something about your mileage varying with Hormel Chili. |
| I like how the last poster was about 7 months late to the conversation |
| Wonder if he thought the nation of Japan would see the thanks he posted |
| you mean they didn't? |
| I think the entire Internet can be summed up with this comment: Ashely so hot i just want to rape her - by Michael Jacksons |
Too stupid for the Internet
| So I'm sitting at work, in a cubicle amongst many, and a coworker mentions that he got an email telling him to tell someone else to tell a third party a fact (it was sent in jest) |
| After a brief communal discussion of what was meant, I say "sounds like a purple monkey dishwasher to me" |
| I get a chuckle from the original recipient, but two others give a "Gwaaaa?" |
| Having an Angry Monday, I gruffly assert they should Google things they don't understand: Google it! |
| One proceeded to do this and made an ass of himself trying to figure it out |
| Some minutes later, the other came around and asked what purple monkey dishwasher meant. |
| I suggested he would seem less stupid if he solved problems on his own using the Internet before bringing it to the attention of others. |
| He said he had Googled it, but still didn't understand it. |
| I replied, again it was an Angry Monday, "Then you're just too stupid for the Internet!" |
| this post doesn't have enough angry in it |
| so, basically it seems that the ineptness was no more than minor irritation. |
| I was probably more angry that people couldn't let stand an (obscure) statement they didn't understand |
| No, they had to talk about it and study it until it wasn't funny any more |
| Fuck, it wasn't even meant to be funny |
| would it have been better if they laughed at it, even though they didn't understand it? |
| I just didn't want to sound like a dork saying "sounds like a game of telephone" |
| No, they should have committed ritual suicide upon hearing it and not understanding it. |
| In silence. |
| I contend that a simpsons reference is even dorkier than a reference to a children's game |
| Perhaps dork was the wrong noun. |
| no perhaps about it. you're a dork |
| man, I just can't squeeze out any more angry, can I? |
| emote, dammit! |
| I'll accept being a dork, but I didn't want to sound like a furious faggot by calling it a game of Telephone |
| |
| |
| now throw some pies around... |
| I think you got the first step wrong |
| Too stupid for the Internet |
There was a Demetri Martin comedy special last night on Comedy Central
| I was quite entertained. |
| The first 20 minutes in particular. |
| his bits on The Daily Show have always entertained me |
| I can imagine his special would be good. |
| my tivo is too stupid to figure out that if I like The Daily Show, and Lewis Black comedy shows, that I would also have liked that |
| I think there should be a feature for the tivo to pick a show that aired and it didn't record and scold it for not recording it |
| Perhaps your TiVo needs a silicone butt that you can spank? |
| the tamagotchi had a scold feature |
| it was very pleasing |
| But did it result in a change in behavior? |
| yes. it would make the thing die sooner |
| And you want this for your TiVo? |
| Black & White also supported scorning |
Man, 24 sure does reuse a lot of actors from one-part roles
| Last year, I remember Samwise, Imhotep, and Badger |
| This year, its Julian Bashir, Commander Locke, Kumar, and Dr. Janosz Poha |
| It is weird watching these memorable single characters all unite to wage and fight terrorism in Los Angeles |
| less money they have to pay when they are syndicated |
| or have DVD sales made syndication obsolete? |
Comedy gold
| "Now, The Rural Juror is the true story of Rory Jerner, whose pure feror ensures a terrible murder" |
| "Your father Werner was a burger server in suburban Santa Barbara, when he spurned your mother Verna for a curly-haired server named Roberta... did that hurt her?" |