I predict that the departure of Charlie Weis will result in a noticable decrease in Tom Brady's performance
 | Just a hunch, despite how much I like the kid |
| I think that was just exactly the offensive coordinator he needed |
| Someone else is going to come in, tinker with a perfect recipe, and it'll never be the smae |
 | I think he'll still be a better QB than peyton manning |
| You'll have to give me the criteria for judgement |
| who would you want as your starting QB |
| Mike Vick ! |
| yes, he is also better than Manning |
| Mainly because he brings in big $$$ from fans, for a lower price than Manning! |
| Which means I'm a rich owner! Woooo! |
| Manning will bring is less fans in the long run. He costs too much |
| I figure that this is the last year Indy can afford to be good |
| Next year they're not going to field anyone on defense |
| Just let the other team score |
| Then, the defense will be really tired facing the Colts offense for 60 minutes straight |
| Which will allow them to score 2-pt conversions, and thus winning |
| won't the offense be tired? |
| Doesn't the defense always get more tired than the offense? I thought that was the reason why more time of posession was always good. |
| You haven't seen enough Raven's games |
| You're right, I haven't! (stupid 49ers and raiders games) |
Just saw a commercial for the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King DVD
| The special Best Picture DVD set, of just the one movie, not of the trilogy |
| With the extra special feature of being 50 minutes longer with the special edition cut! |
| Because the first three and a half hours of hobbits in ROTK wasn't enough! |
| Now with more sobbing hobbits (for a half hour straight), then zooming around towers (for the last 20 minutes) |
| This one single movie is available now on FOUR DVDs (I wish I could make this up) |
| Peter Jackson is pretty fucked up if it takes him 18.8 GB to get across the point that "hobbits are very special creatures" |
| Coming soon, the 9 DVD special edition of Frodo's tearful reunion with Sam! |
| man, that movie was already incredibly boring |
| Well watch it four more times with an extra 50 minutes of emotional goodbyes! |
| Including a full DVD of nothing but the cast talking about what the experience meant to them and the universe! |
Boobies! The best place to see boobies is Monterrey Bay!
| Your mom moved? |
| "Yet another fun aspect of boobies is their vagrancy to California. Four species (five species if my theories about Nazca Booby are correct) have reached the state; indeed, all four (or five) have reached Monterey County, my home." |
Chocolate Bars
| Its the American Dream, in your mouth! |
| I thought Chocolate was a european thang |
| Perhaps chocolate is, but chocolate bars are purely American Dream, baby |
| did you just see Charlie and teh Chocolate Factory? |
| Of course |
| I find it disturbing that all his grandparents slept in one bed |
| I found it disturbing that he had more than 4 grandparents |
| he did? |
| It seemed like there were 6 or 8 of 'em |
| nope, just 4 |
| Grandpa Jo, Grandma Josephine, Grandpa George, Grandma Georgina |
If I got a tattoo, It woudl be cool like this one
| Mine would be dorky, like an elf and dwarf doing calculus on the star ship Enterprise |
| would they glow in the dark? |
| only if you spoke the proper elvish |
| this is why beer should not be served at baseball games |
| the hoser closes his website out of respect for... |
 | THE TV SHOW FRIENDS |
| IDIOT! |
Howstuffworks "How Composting Works"
| I need a more complicated compost heap |
| I would have to agree |
| One round of boxing is like running a 400M run |
this article says peyton manning has charisma. EGADS!
| stupid, stupid Len |
Why everyone hates Mannings
| "I don't want to play for San Diego! cry cry |
Curt Schilling was wearing an EverQuest hat at his post-game press conference today
| I can make no sense of such an action |
| um. maybe he's a dork |
|  |
| Cecil's last name was Harvey? God thats lame |
| WANG! |
"I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth!"
| Simpsons still has some memorable lines left in it |
One of the funniest things on the internet are the Thanks sections in various FAQs on GameFAQs
| The ones that thank God or Jesus, or the company for making the game, really make me chuckle |
| Genesis Shining Force port to GBA |
Eric Crouch to come back as a safety!
| And maybe running the option for Green Bay with Poops-in-Closet! |
| So the question is, what player multi-year removed from playing will do more this year? Crouch or Henson? |
| CROUCH |
| Don't mind if I do! |
ESPN.com - MLB - Taboo tattoos: Toronto pitcher must cover arms
| pitcher with tattoos has to wear sleeves when he pitches |
| apparently the tattoos are distracting to hitters |
| too bad there aren't pictures |
| I wonder if the tattoos are of a naked woman or something. |
Wow, I hope I look this relaxed when I get shot
| he isn't doubled over, or even acknowledging his wound |
| just straight chillin' |
As though there were any doubts about the readership of GameFAQs
| or maybe the chicks can't figure out how to operate the poll |
| did they have a FAQ for "Gamefaq Poll Operation"? |
| I think all girls could use a better FAQ on "pole operation" |
| <INSERT MOMJOKE HERE> |
Are the Borg in Star Trek just zombies in funny clothing?
| I was thinking "Hey you know what would be great, if Star Trek fought zombies!" and then I realized that in almost every way, the Borg are zombies |
| They've been fighting zombies all this time and I didn't realize it!! |
| They are ex-crewmembers or other people/species you know, they don't die when you shoot them, they move slowly and lurchedly, they talk stupidly ... |
| There are too many of them, they keep coming no matter what, and the only way to beat them is always some gimmick |
| the borg adapt to attacks. zombies just come in great numbers |
| zombies' goals are to eat brains, not to assimilate. assimilation is a side effect. |
| borg will ignore you if you are not a threat. a zombie will eat your brains. |
| the borg are organized enough to build a spaceship. I ain't never seen no zombie space ship. |
Good ol' Silicon Valley
| There was a Denny's in Milpitas offering free wifi access |
| Also, this was quite possibly the world's largest Denny's sign, it was colossal |
| Additionally, I encountered a neon Jiffy Lube sign in which all of the letters were burnt out except the 'b' |
A tasty treat
| One Onion Bagel |
| One Piece of Kraft Deluxe American Cheese |
| put cheese in bagel. wrap bagel in paper towel. microwave for 22 seconds. unwrap bagel, and enjoy! |
| I used to enjoy such a treat often in high school |
| Do tell what makes the cheese "deluxe", however |
| kraft makes it deluxe |
I hear OJ may do courtv coverage of Kobe Trial
| Obviously the next step is Kobe vs. OJ celebrity boxing |
| he's taking a break from looking for the real killer |
| and I'll put money down on Kobe winning with a KO |
| I'm surprised he hasn't taken to calling terrorism the "real killer" |
| you are suggesting Al Qaeda killed his wife? |
| Can you prove they didn't? |
| you, meaning OJ? |
| you, meaning the pope |
| I bet he can. |
| I'm going to mean the pope all night long |
| I have no response to that |
| You meaning the pope? |
| where has Foiba been? |
| He's a big-time pope meaner |
whats wrong with this caption?
| "Hundreds of thousands of people march down a main street of Zaragoza, Spain, Friday March 12, 2004 during a demonstration to protest the bomb attacks on trains in Madrid that killed nearly 200 people and injured another 1,400." |
| protest BOMBINGS? |
| like, the government bombed them, and they don't want anymore bombings? |
| this should read "to rally in spite of" |
| fricking idiot journalists. |
| Its more like herding themselves into a nice group for one big bombing |
| but they DISAPPROVE! |
| We respond to terrorism with military might, lacking that, Spain uses its only defense: taking to the streets in large groups |
| with bulls running through? |
| I don't think they have the budget for that anymore |
| Oh how Spain has fallen |
| thats pretty insensitive |
| I was speaking in the long term historical sense, like they used to have the Armada, now they have groups of sad citizens |
 | I AM THE JUDGE OF SENSITIVITY! |
| I DEEM YOU GUILTY |
| You forget, I have a Get Out of Tony Free card |
Why the hell did they expand the NBA?
| the talent is already watered down |
| Since the NBA exists in the universe, and the universe is expanding, isn't that obvious enough for you? |
| no? |
| they will start drafting middle schoolers |
Draft question
| If Larry Fitzgerald or Mike Williams falls to Detroit, do they take him? |
| While in theory first round drafting is best-athlete based, not need-based, but what do you feel is Detroit's biggest need? |
| tough one. |
| they need someone who can tackle |
| so, linebacker or safety |
| linebacker is more of a 2nd round thing |
| maybe RB |
| but Pinner looks like the real deal |
| Who's the best safety in the draft? Trade down to a later 1st round pick, pick up some later round picks for linebackers and other such positions |
| Sean Taylor from Miami is a good safety. Not ROY WILLIAMS quality, in my opinion |
| two 1st round receivers in two years is a stretch. I am unsold on Az Hakim and Tai Streets as potential #2receivers |
| They should trade up to the 0th round and draft Jesus |
| I think Oakland will take Mike Williams |
| and then move back to LA, so he can play at home |
| thats a lot of receivers from Michigan universities |
| they need to trade for David Terrell now! |
| And Jesus! |
| and Mohammed! |
| Google's cached version of Google |
Requested TiVo feature
| If you're done recording a show, and the show after it I have rated triple-thumbs-down, then for the love of god, change the channel so my eyes never have to see shows I hate |
| If TiVo is not recording something, it should change the channel to the highest-thumbed-up show it can find |
| So whenever I turn on my TV, I get something not-crappy |
Oh how I love GameFAQs, a strategy guide for Skee-Ball!
| Yes, thats right, Skee-ball, the game in the Chuck E. Cheese places where you bowl a ball up a ramp into some concentric circles and win tickets |
| This is a fabulous FAQ |
| "Of course, you insert your coin, and then nine balls roll down the corridor now that you've opened the gate they're stuck behind. You take the balls, do what you will with them as long as it entails rolling them up to the point holes, and at the end, you'll get however many tickets (usually, the system works out to one ticket every 50 points)." |
| This is worth a read for you bored people at work, its well written, humorous, and informative |
| I should run off to Chuck-E-Cheese right now! |
| and win that BB Gun I wanted so bad |
The favorite soccer goalie of Pants!, Brad Friedle scores a goal, then gives up the game-winner
| "With his team trailing 2-1 in the final minutes, Friedel came up for offense in a common, but usually-futile attempt to get the equalizer. But this time it paid dividends, and stunningly, it was Friedel who converted with a header off a corner kick." |
| Wonder which goalies score more often: soccer or hockey |
| hockey |
| unless you count PKs at the end of the game |
| ok, then how about field hockey and water polo |
| probably still regular hockey |
| although, I don't have any stats or anything |
Now YOU can understand the NBA salary cap
| wow, thats some reading |
| I need some cliffs notes on the summary |
Here's a great example of poor headline editing
| Headline says you can do 480 gigabits per second wirelessly |
| Article says you can do 480 megabits per second wirelessly |
| Just a few orders of magnitude, thats all |
| 2^20 vs 2^30 |
| thats quite a few ^'s |
| this headline is EXCELLENT |
| although, I wonder what the arrows are pointing out |
| I can always imagine... |
| "this is a 1976 Bicentennial Quarter" |
| "this is the leg of a robotic spider" |
This new holiday was brought to my attention today
| In the same sense that Christmas has been noted by various comedians as Jews-Go-To-The-Movies Day |
| Apparently the Super Bowl is Single-Girls-Go-To-The-Movies Day |
| Intriguing |
I'm sick of Mars researchers giving stupid nicknames to every rock
| I mean, c'mon! "Mimi" ? "Bonneville" ? |
| Does EVERY SINGLE rock need a god damned nickname? |
| They're ROCKS |
| At some point, you'll have many large rovers and/or people, and this whole thing will have to go simply because of logistics |
| I mean, who comes up with these names? Is there any approval process, a Council Of Craptastic Names For Mars Rocks wasting money at an enormous pace? |
| And why in hell does the media feel the need to cover the minute-by-minute life of moving closer to a nicknamed rock? |
| I mean, the first few days were fun, but some of these things have months of design life... soon it will be years |
| Are we going to have news agencies with Senior Robots Visiting Crappily Nicknamed Rocks Correspondents covering this bullshit their entire lives? |
| Is someone making a career out of making up crappy names for rocks, and someone else is making a career out of telling people about a robot that visits those same rocks? |
| with the phrase in every article that reads: "which the scientists have nicknamed "Princess Lollipop" |
| Is there any precedent in terrestrial geologists nicknaming their subject matter? |
| I have a feeling the astronomers, who do it like a man and name stuff "MGX-2002a-7q" and the like, really look down their noses at these Mars geologists and naming their rocks "Mr. Cuddly Tubbybear" |
| Seriously, how do you decide that one rock looks like a "Mimi" and another one looks like a "Bonneville" ? Do you think that a "scientist" who's suggested name isn't picked for the rock gets really pissy every time someone uses the chosen name for the rock over his? |
| Right now are there like 20 people getting paid thousands upon thousands of dollars with Ph.Ds and hundreds of millions of dollars in space robots telling each other how excited they are to get closer to Mimi, in a professional sense. |
| This is either very scathing or very hypocritical, coming from someone who works in the space industry |
If you thought Tony's overreaction to IKEA was bad...
| A font that Microsoft included in Office 2003 has a swastika symbol in one of the symbol sections of that font |
| Now everyone is angry that you can make a swastika in a Word document, oh the humanity! How dare the computer allow such foul things! |
| what if you were writing something on the evils of the nazis? |
| seems that a swastica symbol would be helpful |
| Then you should kill yourself right then and there |
| "Although the swastika is closely associated with Nazi Germany, the symbol is actually thought to date back more than 3,000 years and throughout its history has represented life, sun, power, strength and good luck." |
| Microsoft will have no part in allowing anyone to put some lines connected to smaller lines onto their computer machine! |
| DAS IST VERBOTEN!@ |
| In a related story, keyboard manufacturers are going to be issuing keyboards without keys that might allow you to spell offensive words |
| no F key? |
| or N, or Q, or B, or C, or ... |
| what bad word has Q? |
| Thats left as an exercise to the reader |
I learned something today
| IKEA stores are goddamned socialist |
| not that its very surprising given the country of origin... how so? |
| they like, provide you with everything you need to shop. |
| Everyone gets a pencil, a ruler, a GUIDEBOOK |
| and then everyone has to follow the directions on where to go next |
| oh you've never been to IKEA? |
| I like stores where I fend for myself |
| I get an advantage for bringing my OWN pencil and ruler |
| if I want to go to the BATHROOM section first, I should be able to |
| hmm, I always viewed it as more of a theme park for adults |
| go through Bedroom World and over to Kitchen Land |
| SOCIALIST! |
| if the playing field is too level for you in the shopping, I do believe there is room for significant advantage in trying to cram all the stuff in your car, or simply wheeling it around once you've loaded it all up downstairs |
| Renae and I literally speed-walked to get out of that hellhole |
| I almost ran for the car. |
| wow, how strange |
| i find it hard not to spend hours in IKEA |
| Anna laments regularly the lack of an IKEA in the Detroit area |
| its too regimented for blue-collar americans, who love their freedom. |
| ah, for us bay area yuppies, its perfect |
| in fact, we like it so much, they opened up a second one |
| I shant be going back. In fact, it made me not ever want to go to Sweden. |
| I think its better off for everyone involved if you never set foot in any of Scandanavia |
| I concur |
| So where are you going to overspend on furniture then? |
| I'll fricking build it before I go back there. |
| I am emotionally scarred. |
| But surely you can find somewhere to buy a nice $700 coffee table or a $2200 couch |
| wow. did you spend that on your stuff? |
| no, i shopped at IKEA, where it was $30 and $120 |
What I have learned from Need For Speed Underground
| if a car pulls out in front of you, and you are going fast, head for the back of the car |
| or front, if they are going in reverse |
| which car? |
| um, their car |
| head to the back of their car? |
| what do i do when i get there? |
| am I in a car? |
| you will miss them |
| you are in a car. you will avoid them if you head for the back. |
| because they'll move? |
| yes. my initial instinct was to go in front for some reason |
| to go in front of the car in front of you? wouldn't that require passing them, turning aroudn, and then attempting to ram them? |
| YES. YOU ARE THE RIGHT ONE WARREN. YOU ARE CORRECTAMUNDO |
| i still don't think i'm in a car |
| Its an illusion |
| smooth ride |
 | Nester won't stop until he's at the White House. |
| Nester '04 |
| Oh, how disappointing, I thought this was going to be about the Nintendo Power magazine character from the late 80s/early 90s, Nester |
| On a related note, this tribute to the first issue of Nintendo Power is fabulous. I own this issue, and it truly is magnificent. |
| I've got that issue and the alternate |
| I also have all the issues of Nintendo Fun Club News! |
| The Castlevania II: Simon's Quest second issue is very fabulous, mainly because that game is so good |
| and every issue of Nintendo Power up to Donkey Kong Country! |
| I have up to like Issue Number 76 or 82 or something |
| I'm a nerd! |
| I'm a geek! |
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/2004-02-06-tivo-ratings_x.htm
| Nielsen Media Ratings company and TiVo sign agreement to provide ratings |
| I pointed out this would be an increasing concern, and that its a difficult thing to measure accurately with timeliness, here in item #578 |
| And no, all you people who love freaking out about this stuff, its not without your consent. Just like the regular ratings, its only a select percent of people who have been selected and agree to be on the "measurement panel" that have their information used. |
| We just got a letter asking us to be in the Nielsen family. All they'll find out is I watch too much Star Trek and The Food Network. |
| Which means the next big reality TV show will be a Sci-Fi Iron Chef Survivor! |
| I don't see CBS listed |
| and if I recall, they already did Iron Chef with Cap'n Kirk as the host |
| Recalling is FORBIDDEN!! |
| tell that to Bill Clinton |
http://www.detnews.com/2004/autosinsider/0402/07/autos-57670.htm
| Next time, ve vill use the LAZER! |
| tesla coils would be cooler |
| They don't mention if this actually works, or if it does, how well it destroys hail |
Carmelo Anthony looks like a woman
| he is in serious need of a haircut |
| the braids sure ain't working for him |
|  |
| he looked normal with normal hair  |
Did they redo the format of Google Image Search when you click on an image?
Yahoo! News - Electronic Arts, Marvel Sign Game Development Deal
| they don't say what kind of games they will make |
| although, they kind of hint that it won't be fighting |
| I wonder if we'll see "madden vs. wolverine"! |
| Actually, EA already made a pretty decent Wolverine game. |
| EA basically makes every type of game on the planet |
| does madden make an appearance? |
| but I'd buy "Wolverine VS Madden" |
| No, Madden's games are in the EA Sports department. They didn't make the Wolverine game. |
| Its going to be SimMarvel |
| design a new love nest for Cyclops? |
| Didn't Cyclops get absorbed by Apocalypse, or is he back now? |
| yes |