I have declared war on the Gameboy Advance game "Star Wars: Flight of the Falcon"
 | I've played it for hours and only seen 2 of the 16 levels. |
| The game started something that I intend to finish, no matter how many TIE fighters I have to destroy, subsequently memorizing their spawning locations and movements. |
| For example, the first two TIE fighters at the beginning of the first level will basically never survive from now on. |
 | Didn't you do a thing like that in Ninja Gaiden, or was that someone else |
| Or Ninja Gaiden III |
| Ninja Gaiden III is not worth mentioning. I played the crap out of the first two. Beat the second one finally, but only got to the last boss in the first one. |
| Last boss in NG 1 is ridiculous |
| The only thing that makes NG 1 and 2 playable is the on-board infinite continues. NG 3 took out the infinite continues and also managed to fuck up the jumping physics. |
 | game genie needed? |
| its rage-a-foiba |
| Not really, NG 3 didn't fit into the storyline at all. Irene Lew was saved at the end of NG 2 by the sacrifice of the Dragon Sword. But then she's killed immediately at the beginning of the third one, and Ryu has a new Dragon Sword |
| how does the arcade game fit in? |
| it was the 90s, man, everyone was getting new Dragon Swords |
| Also (spoilers) it was only Irene's clone that was killed. The storyline for 3 was retarded. |
| it was the 90s, man, everyone's clone got killed |
| Janga Fetts? |
| The arcade game doesn't really fit. The Ryu Hayabusa from DOA and from the upcoming X-Box game aren't really the same Hayabusa either. I'm willing to accept completely changing the character/story as long as you don't try to add a "II" or "III" onto it. |
| the arcade game had one fighting seemingly endless streams of jason vorhees |
| Also, as it was peripherally mentioned, I believe that Boba Fett died in the sarlacc pit, contrary to what the later books attempted to reveal. |
| because Boba Fett is retarded in the prequel trilogy. |
| I thought the sarlacc took many years to digest |
| he's probably still alive TODAY |
| Yeah, it took a lot of years to digest Boba Fett. Because he died in there. |
| years to digest, but doesn't mean you'd live more than a few minutes |
| or at worst, a week after no water and no food do you in |
| it may take you 8 hours to digest a mouse, but he'll be quite dead a few seconds after you eat him (assuming you chew like good american) |
| I thought it was 3 minutes without air, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, or something |
| yeah but i was being optimistic |
| like maybe you're drinkin' some juices in the innards or something |
| mmmm.. sarlacc juice |
| Yeah, with all the technological shit they gave him in the books, I'm sure he was text-messaging the hell out of his friends as he was slowly being digested. But face it, no one loves you enough to jump down into the sarlacc pit and pull your punk-ass out. |
| if george lucas dies, do they make episodes 7-9? |
| have they not began using a shorter term than "text-messaging" ? and what is a non-text message? |
| Well, after i manage to assassinate George Lucas, I don't see what's wrong with a Star Wars tv series. |
| voice message |
| You can just "text" someone. |
| Sounds painfhul |
| I can't. I have no cel phone |
| I think a "cel" phone would be a still of animation... but I have neither a cel nor a cell phone either |
| Star Wars TV series: young Han Solo (whole new actor), just after he got kicked out of the academy. He's got Chewie, the Falcon and crazy adventures in front of him. Awesome. |
| tv networks don't want these high budget shows |
| Put it on HBO and Showtime and have them having sexy adventures |
| you need a star wars REALITY show |
| XXX reality starwars! |
| like a group of people who are all told they're the new Han Solo and they have to all fight to figure out which one is the real Solo? |
| I've seen worse shows |
| It had better end with a motherfucker in carbonite. |
| or at the very least, marrying an unappealing loser |
| Actually, that'd be a pretty cool show. |
| Foiba could host it from Prague |
| That plan's changed. Now I'm going with the "rusty pick-up truck and a boat on a trailer" plan. |
| Going to get a pre-rusted truck or rust it yourself? |
| Since the plan involves constantly driving pick-up trucks into the ocean, crawling through the cab window into the boat and sailing off, I decided to go with pre-rusted. It will be cheaper. |
| Darwin would be proud. |
| They'll know me by my trail of rusty pick-up trucks at the bottom of the ocean. |
man, football is over
| guess its time to start, like talking about video games and boobs again |
| I hear the lingerie bowl will not be having an encore |
| I can't stop buying Janet Jackon albums now |
| I don't know what came over me. I was at the store, everyone had been talking about her and her boob, and I just grabbed a pile of cds |
| I bought a couple of albums twice. |
| same here |
| I bought 19 of them |
| I bought a couple Micheal Jackson albums, just to be sure |
| I also bought a new computer to download her new single (which came out the day after the Super Bowl), so that it could be a computer solely devoted to how apparently awesome Janet Jackson and her boob are. |
| I would consider none of these bad values. |
| They say the heart of rock and roll is still beating |
| my mom is appalled! |
this begs the question "how does one become an EXTREME vodka girl"
| wonder if they are capable of massive vodka consumption |
| let's find out |
| also, the FWD logo makes it look like that one girl has ringworm |
update
| the gamecube games have been found |
| they were in the hamper |
This photo needs a caption contest
|  |
| They say earrings make the man... don't they? |
| Flunking out of clown school doesn't stop Carlos from being a hoot at parties. |
| The harmonious combination of jewelry, drinks with umbrellas and froofy hair would have been complete had not Carlos been a man! |
| The lesser known member of the Green Bay Packers dreadlock triplets. |
| Honey, its the mustache and the mole that makes me SNAP |
| Al Sharpton's running mate was chosen to make Al's hair appear relatively normal. |
| The fifty million pesos of soccer money didn't go as far as Carlos thought... the club, drinks, hair, and jewelry was complete, but a few million pesos short of the gap in his teeth or his attrocious blouse |
| announcing the new host of Univision's Queer Eye for the Straight Hombre |
| No one knows exactly when it all went wrong for Carlos, but friends suspect it began when he voiced the desire for cleats with high heels |
| Carlos admits that his favorite thing about his hair is pulling down his pants when asked if he is a natural blonde. |
| It was a tough competition, but as winner of this year's World's Gayest Latino, Carlos knew his long hours of tightening his curls and practicing his queerest smile had finally paid off: for in 2004, his anus would not go yearning |
| No image does more to distinguish between American football and latino futbol than this. |
| was that last comment genuine or part of the contest. |
| because you already won. are you Tom Osborne? Steve Spurrier? |
| I don't show up to win battles, I arrive to win wars. |
| there is no caption BCS |
| Thats what Jesus said and look what they did to him! |
| You mean Jesus Hernandez, Carlos' goalie? |
| They gave him All You Can Eat Carlos, and he was never the same man again. |
| "Just in case my curly blonde wig wasn't evidence enough that I'm comically ambiguously sexual oriented, I've also ordered a drink with an umbrella in it." |
CD Wallets for your gamecube games seem like good ideas
| they are compact |
| they can be easily transported |
| but, shit, when you lose them, you lose all your games |
 | and yes, I lost mine |
| the next nintendo system needs to have a normal sized game medium |
game idea
| Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory Tycoon |
| build oompa-loompas |
| Build them? Not breed them? |
| Build them out of what? |
| dunno |
| Build them out of hatred. |
| I know not of oompa-loompa reproduction |
| gotta be a family game |
| thats where them big bucks be |
| Maybe they don't reproduce, they are immortal, and you don't build them, you simply teleport them in |
| Or perhaps gate them in from the elemental plane of miscolored musical midgets |
| in any case, I feel that it would be an interesting franchise to explore |
| It has to be willy wonka stlyed, not just a generic Candy Manufacturing Tycoon ? |
| do they have oompa-loompas in normal candy factories? |
| Not unless your priest is at least level 12 |
| excellent |
| some baseball pitcher was in gay porn |
| Asian gay porn, eh? Talk about your niche markets |
| the article talks about how the poor guy will get heckled |
| my question is, is being in gay porn WORSE than pooping in some chicks closet? |
| why isn't Najeh taunted endlessly? |
| Asian gay porn |
| POOPING in closet |
| Having another man in your POOPING region |
| well, as strange as it sounds, being gay is a lot more common than closet poop fetishes |
| Yes, but this fellows humiliation is available on VHS |
| no beta? |
So, whatcha been playing?
| I played through a game of CIV3. |
| Winnage? By what means? Difficulty level? Number of civs? Whats your key strategy? |
| Grandia II myself, felt it needed a replay after all these years |
| Diplomatic:Warlord:7:Expand,expand expand |
| is Grandia an SNES game? |
| I don't remember what system the original was, but Grandia II was on Dreamcast, its also now on the PC, and maybe the PS/ |
| I think I'll finish Skies of Arcadia next |
| since current games kinda, um, suck, I've been looking to the past for better answers |
| the Dreamcast had such a short life, but it sure had quality stuff made for it |
| A week ago or two I made a speed run through Final Fantasy II (SNES), getting all non-rare-drop items and beating the game in 13 hours, not bad |
| that game made me cry |
| when the poor twin kids turn to stone... :_( |
| the elder unstones them later |
| when it happens, its depressing |
| So it goes. |
| (Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles comes out next month) |
| (gonna be awesome |
| is that going to be real RPG? |
| as real as Secret of Mana is a real RPG |
| shoot, I need to finish that game too |
| so many games, so little time |
| it's looks a little more in-depth. between my friend and I, we have 4 gameboys and 4 cords (you get a free cord pre-ordering at ebworld.com) so we're set for multiplayer |
| thats a lot of gameboys for 2 people |
| extra gameboys for lazy friends |
Some things I've learned while renovating my bathroom
| Putting up molding is hard |
| wood putty does not stain as well as advertised |
| Fascinating. |
| I know |
| I hope you learned something |
Wonder if Brady will fall asleep an hour before kickoff like he did at his last Super Bowl
An interesting side effect of the DVD era
| As fewer and fewer people have VCRs, and as few remaining home theatre components have clocks on them... |
| In the near future the idea of the eternal flashing 12:00 VCR clock will fade away |
| I don't think enough people realize the impending loss of a part of our culture that the new technology is causing |
| What reason will grandmothers have to talk to their grandchildren if not to make their VCRs stop blinking 12:00 ? |
| |
| need tivo with clock |
coming soon to howstuffworks, how to build an a-bomb
| I always thought this site was aimed at kids |
| internal combustion engines are for kids but thermonuclear devices aren't? |
| what kid needs to know how to pick a lock? |
| the incarcerated ones? |
| indeed |
tigers may be contenders next season!
| /me has faith in the dombrowski! |
| I can't wait to reference this item next august |
| As they lose another 100 games |
| I would just then say that I was referring to LSU |
| being the clever monkey I am |
| only if you can find a dombrowski on their roster or coaching staff |
| doh |
I think our generation should be known as the "ducktales" generation
| I'm right between X and Y generations |
| people my age seem all love ducktales |
| we're currently working on the most perfect cover song, actually. The Ducktale's theme that segues right into Wham!'s "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" |
| the bass line is almost identical. |
| instrumental beatmatching.. huh |
| Elf girls like to rock and roll |
| I battled Helm's Deep and I took Minas Tirith, if you won't watch out we'll make your ass disappeareth |
| Gollum beatbox like you never seen. |
| Kirk looks kinda retarded, as does Spock. McCoy looks alright and Uhura is a fox. |
| the first episode should be released in a week or so, hopefully they get better bandwidth by then. |
| (by the way, this is basically fans finishing Star Trek's original 5 year mission by making new episodes by themselves, all donations going to charity) |
| doesn't uhura play point guard for Uconn? |
|  |
|  |
| There aren't words for this. |
| yes there is |
| JUMMMBAH! |
| Stay away from that white bubble near the middle |
| That bubble is no good for you. |
| I made a song that sounds like a song from Link to the Past from that bubble |
 | HUMBAHHHH! |
| I don't understand how to win |
| MUST WIN |
| Some of them can be won |
| They just start over again. It's like a nightmare |
| the small blue globe to the right of the red globe at the top left is my favorite |
| the small blue globe to the left of the red globe at the top left is a memory leak party |
| if you click on them on the front page, it really gets crazy |
| in the center purse game, i created an army of seven black dudes in maroon shirts |
| thats one of the strangest things i've ever typed |
I have a deep suspicion...
| That if you were to do a full closed-system analysis of the economy, the whole darn world economy, it wouldn't close |
| I think somewhere along the way we've forgotton what traces back to gold bullion, where the funds come from in an electronic transfer, what happens when every nation and every individual are in eternal debt, and how you pay multibillion dollar bills |
| I think we're all running on a lot of trust |
| And the more Terminator style Judgement Day resulting from a computer becoming aware and taking over will not occur with the military systems, but rather when a great accounting system goes online, realizes the world's books don't balance, and this whole thing just flat collapses overnight and I'm trying to trade you a chicken for internet access |
| And God knows, thats an ill-gotten chicken. |
crazy prediction
| Al Davis will name Rich Gannon to be the starting QB/head coach |
| that would piss of all of those other players to no end |
| jerry rice and tim brown assistant coaches? |
| tim brown needs to go home and give up |
| romo would be the d-coordinator? |
| romo would bite the heads off of babies |
| he's like that houston coach that punched people |
| back when they wuz the oilers |
Lets see your guru now!
| Denny Green to coach sport's worst franchise, the Arizona Cardinals |
| Is he going to draft himself a Manning? |
| Four coaching spots left... who ends up in Atlanta and Oakland, and less intriguingly, the Bears and the Bills |
| Green is not an idiot! NO MANNING |
| Jim Mora Jr. now the Falcon's head coach? Well hrmmmmm |
| And here I thought Nick Saban or Lovie Smith were locks for that |
| Callahan accepts Nebraska job, this should be a pretty interesting combo... he'll definitely be revamping that roster |
NFL Playoff Predictions after Wildcard Weekend
| Championship games: GB/STL, NE/KC |
| Superbowl: NE over GB |
| who is KC playing? |
| Le Manning |
| There's no way that Manning is winning 2 playoff games, and there's no way that that KC team is not winning 1 |
| yes |
| I picked stl preseason |
| STL over TEN superbowl |
| Handy link |
| STL/PHI and KC/TEN in championship game |
| Yes, preseason picks are here |
| The picks after four-weeks are here |
the new corvette looks like a viper
|  |
| at least from the front |
| looks kind of short, from the side: |
|  |
| don't need much space for you and a hot chick |
| I thought we were discussing its Corvette-esque stylings |
| Hot chicks take very little space |
| depends on what you're into |
| Special compartments could be built especially for them to save space |
| with an extra compartment, a hot chick takes less space? a special volume reducing compartment! |
| I'll ignore your intentional misunderstanding, and claim its a plan to allow you to carry TWO hot chicks! |
| the way I figure it, I could fit at least 3 chicks without special compartments |
who really should have been NFL MVP?
Poll Results
Total votes: 10
| gimpy ass mcnair ain't no MVP |
| Manning had a good enough year to at least be on my list |
| but fricking brady had a better year than McNair |
You can learn to chicken dance too!
Ell Roberson joins the Kobe B. Bryant School of Sexual Assault
| Midwestern style, baby |
| Could result in a very very low scoring Fiesta Bowl tomorrow |
| Linkage |
| . |
Hey Spurrier...
| You B. Fired |
Dumbrella Board: THAT THING GOT A HEMI INNIT??
| IT GOT A HEMI INNIT?? |
ESPN.com - NFL - 2004 Pro Bowl: NFC roster
| A Lion in the Pro Bowl! |
| an Anquan Boldin in the Pro-bowl |
ESPN.com - NFL - Favre tells Packers he's coming back next year
| Frankly, I can't figure out why |
| But I am pleased |
| nobody understands The Pie Race |
| I do |
| or maybe I don't count |
| no, it's The Pie Race. |
| Wow, you really have a nice following going there |
| see, the reason I say I understand the pie race, is because I have my own version of the pie race. It has tons of big-tittied hot women involved in it though. |
| nobody understands The Pie Race. |
| of course. what does Foiba know about big-tittied hot women? |
| friendship |
| Nobody Understands the Pie Race |
| (Nobody_) | Actually, no, no I don't |
Who would you rather having announcing the Monday Night Football games?
Poll Results
Total votes: 13
| This is a tough question for me |
| They both say stupid stupid things you wish you had never heard them speak for hopes you might recover the brain cells they vanquished |
| stuart scott says dumb things. john madden is barely speaking english |
| I'd like to see Rocket Ismail, Adam Corrola and Michael Irvin in the booth |
| I like Irvin, because he ain't afraid to talk about how he was a criminal |
| Its not like he was murderin', stealin', rapin', etc., |
| just cokin' it up |
| thats not even illegal in some third world countries |
| there's no law against abusing cocaine. |
| Mmm criminal ownershipness |
More Tivoranting
| I'd like to be able to thumbs up baseball games for say... the detroit tigers |
| but I don't want every fricking baseball game EVER |
| Why can't I thumbs up "Detroit Tigers" baseball |
| then it can assume I like Detroit sports, and get me Lions and Red Wings |
| How do you know which of the two teams playing is the one you want? |
| What if I like the Raiders and the 49ers, so one week I thumbs up Raiders vs. Lions and the next week I thumbs up 49ers vs. Lions |
| I can think of a number of ways |
| But its not SUPER SIMPLE, just Tony Simple (TM) |
| have a game listed as both Lions football and Raiders football |
| select which one it is |
| then thumbs up it |
| I think Foiba would tell us to diversify our topics if we want more readership |
| Heheheh giggle... readership! HAA! |
| Hehehehe gigggle..... foiba! HAHAHA |
 | TEE-HEE!!! |
| just offering advice since I'm apparently brought in as the funny guy. |
| football rants ain't funny |
| nobody understands The Pie Race |
| wait, wasn't that Warren's advice? |
| Warren's advice based on my rants |
| I thought Warren was the funny one |
| I was the beligerent one |
| and Foiba was the one that played with knives |
| I guess I had it all wrong |
| but really, those knives won't play with themselves. |
| I thought I was the hateful one |
| And the zany one |
| Zany omnihate! |
| Worst. Boy-band. Ever. |
| I frankly don't think any of us are funny |
| Ok, then I'm definitely the sexy one |
| I always saw Tony as the straight man, and Warren and I bouncing off each other as Success and Failure. |
| WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE PANTS?! |
Another Tivo idea
| so, now there is season pass and the thumbs up for shows I like |
| what I want is something in between |
| "If the show is on, record it, unless there is a different suggestion" |
| Hmm, basically what you're asking for is the ability to manage the Suggestions in the Season Pass Manager |
| To be able to play some Season Pass priorities below that of Suggestions |
| YES! |
| That seems simple enough |
| it seems that season passing Conan O'Brien cuts out huge chunks of the day |
| My Season Pass Manager is 25 items long, I debate long and hard about priorities sometimes :) |
| maybe there is something interesting on instead of conan o'brien |
| I set up a manual season pass for Conan, so it doesn't catch all the damn Comedy Central ones... the First Runs Only doesn't seem to help |
| sometimes I wish that kcm worked for Tivo. He'd implement these ideas |
I want to be able to scold my tivo
| when it gets me something I didn't want |
| ha! |
| you can, the big red thumbs down! |
| thumbs down just isn't enough |
| you can hit it like a billion times |
| I can thumbs down a show it didn't record... |
| I want it to know that IT WAS BAD |
| my tivo had a streak early on where it wanted to record anime |
| my justice was swift and devastating |
| everything resembling anime in the entire 2 week lineup got three thumbs down |
| tivo fucking learned |
| cronin talked me out of three thumbs downing |
| because it teaches it badly? |
| no, because its too harsh |
| my tivo very intelligently picks shows now, i'm quite pleased |
| most things are only one or two thumbs down |
| BUT I FUCKING HATE ANIME! |
| I have mostly one thumb down |
| I'm very disciplined about my thumbs up, I have a system |
| I like the Janissary Theory best |
| I like the Cosmetic Fashion Theory |
| Its simple, and fits the issue with Enterprise-era and post-TOS era Klingons since it was just a fad |
| The Q Theory is nice as well, but as with all things Q, a little too simple/perfect |
| Something about the Klingons being ashamed of a time in their history when they were fashion and cosmetic oriented is just delightful |
| I can imagine all the types of forehead makeup they'd have |
The Top Gun Theme, the one by Van Halen
| I wish I could have this playing when I'm doing stuff like checking out at the self-check-out at the grocery store |
| or figuring out tips at a restaurant |
| like, have a musical aura? |
| going through my mail, picking out the bills, throwing away the junk mail |
| successfully cooking something in the toaster oven that was designed to be cooked in a microwave |
| Do you want the music to please yourself, or to impress/intimidate others? |
| cleaning a really filthy cutting board and making it not smell like turkey |
| mainly just to let people know how awesome I am |
| I think if you want music to please yourself/ pump you up, it needs to be "eye of the tiger" |
| the Top Gun theme says, "I might've killed my co-pilot by being reckless and going into a flat spin, but I'll make it up to him by being The Best of the Best." |
holiday gaming plans?
| I think I may get Fire Emblem |
| maybe I'll get an xbox controller, because I currently have 0 |
| I'm gonna finish Prince of Persia |
| No gaming |
| maybe pick up Mario and Luigi and play through that. |
| is that a 2 player game? |
| I might just play through some old NES games |
| Such as? |
| no, you play them both at the same time. it's an RPG with timed battle commands, like Paper Mario |
| Castlevania III, perhaps |
| Fantastic |
| Or I could finish paper mario! |
| my pothead friend borrowed Paper Mario and then destroyed his cellphone |
| how are the two events related? you can't call him to get it back? |
| yeah, he lives in Georgia, I have no way to contact him. |
| guest p: monkey |
Google Plans R & D Facility In India
| Matt can go work there! |
| and spank it while wearing a sari! |
| i don't remember that at all |
| Well, its a video game |
| what platform? |
| de Lancie did a lot of video games |
| But I also totally do not remember this |
| I'd guess PC |
| I think Star Trek: Strip Poker would go over better |
| Your Troi, Seven, T'Pol |
| And for those niche markets, your Uhura, Yar, Crusher, Janeway, and Major Kira |
| Sulu! |
| Odo! |
| howard stern makes a lot of fun of Sulu |
| Menage a Troi |
| The original Dax girl would be worth seeing as well |
I need an optical mouse
| uh, duh |
| get with the 21st century |
| i don't even use a mouse with a ball |
| and foiba lives in a barn and uses two cups connected with string for an internet connection |
| i'm not even sure what the internet is yet |
| its what jesus used to die for your sins |
| I at least have a cordless mouse |
| i have a cordless optical |
| whats the battery-life like? |
| i use two sets of rechargable NiMHs that i rotate |
| i get like 2, 3 weeks |
| mine lasts like 6 months |
| my roommate's got a cordless optical that sits in a cradle |
| my mouse predates optical |
| i never could get a mouse last that long |
| 1.5, 2 years was about the max I ever got out of a mouse |
| I don't know what I'm doing wrong |
| But I use up the batteries and kill them far too quickly |
| July 2000 is when I got my mouse |
| I was always concerned that without a mouse ball, and without a wire, I was going to lose my mouse |
| I don't know why I feared that so strongly, but its blatantly false |
| i was always concerned i'd just throw the mouse at stuff when i got frightened or startled |
| the red laser of evil and radio waves of satan certainly can be intimidating |
| Are you still using a mouse pad? |
| That was the worst part about the '90s |
| but I have a cool Wired mouse pad |
| i'm still using my Max Payne mousepad, mainly cuz i've got a sharp edge on my desk |
| I mouse bareback on my nice big Ikea desk |
| I need that bumper sticker: "I mouse bareback" |
ESPN.com - NFL - Ravens' Suggs charged with felony assault
| Bad news for Tony's favorite underused player |
| not really. they still plan to start him this weekend |
| Suggs, 21, is accused of using a reinforced rod to assault a man during a March 29 fight outside Phoenix Municipal Stadium following a three-on-three basketball tournament. |
| I think the reinforced rod is a cousin of the inanimate carbon rod |
| its actually an enhancement |
| Is that what you're getting your wife this xmas? A rod reinforcement for yourself? |
| she wishes |
Atlanta Falcons fire Dan Reeves
| Brutal! They let him have one game with Vick and then axed him, thats just cruel! |
| Wonder why they chose now instead of the end of the season after a few more weeks. |
| they should hire Denny Green |
| he could do creative things with Vick |
| Don't forget about Deion! |
| And, will Vick destroy Manning this weekend? |
Interplay shuts down Black Isle Studios
| They had quite a streak of games with the Baldur's Gate, Icewind Dale, Neverwinter Nights, and a recent favorite of mine, Lionheart. |
| I thought their games sold well. |
| not Sims well, but well |
| I'm sure the reason was more strategic and political than sales-based. |
| they'll find other jobs with credentials like that. it's not like they're being punished for being awesome, the company just made as much as they thought they could with that team. |
| time to divide and multiply. |
| And you can learn more in Foiba's new book Principles of Rabbit Breeding in Modern Software Development, in stores now |
| just saying if the guys are really that talented, it won't be hard for them to get new jobs. chances are, they'll start heading some new teams, getting those guys experience |
| like accepting a promotion in starfleet, sometimes you have to leave the Enterprise |
| I don't think anyone cares about them |
| Its the lack of more games from that particular group |
| And you always get reassigned to the Enterprise when a movie comes around |
| Maybe they'll go work for Ion Storm and make Daikatana II |
Idea for a modified rules version of football
| Make the field miles and miles and miles long |
| Start the game at the middle |
| Play for field position |
| The winner is whoever has the ball on their side |
| Its like a game of tug of war |
| There would have to be a limit on the maximum distance any one play can travel |
| football is not entertaining enough for you? |
| Nope |
| I'm an American, I'm never satisfied |
| There's always room for more pleasure |
| I think this would change the game in some very interesting ways... punting would be a really big deal, and there's no longer any field goal kickers! |
| what would janikowski do? |
| What Janikowskis do best! Drink, snort, and do cheap bitches! |
| how will he make money |
| Not my problem! |
| Entertain me! |
| with drunken brawling? |
| SeaBass does look a bit like Butterbean |
|  |
| Is there no other jobs available for unathletic drunks with very powerful legs? |
| man, that'd be a boring game of football |
| Yes, but so strategic! |
| all the awesome plays would get pulled back once they reached maximum limit allowed |
| I'm with Foiba |
| Fine, repeal the maximum limits and watch a bunch of Kenyans dominate the sport! |
| that sounds like the worst game ever |
| Its just an idea, I'm not forcing you to watch it and naming your children after it |
| you wouldn't really know what to cheer for... "oh, we're down so many yards this quarter, i'm not really sure what kind of rally we need." |
| whats it called? Warrensballs? |
| Infinifootball |
| Because, in theory, the field is infinitely long |
| Perhaps played on the inside of a cylinder spinning in space |
| I always liked the idea of combining football with golf. You have a blocking line and one guy trying to line up the golf shot before he gets tackled |
| Arriving at the tee a second late could result in quite a shot to the chin for the pass rushers |
| putting situations, he gets one blocker and the other team gets one rusher |
| And there's nothing wrong with the name Infinifootball McTony |
| I think golf combined with soccer and ice skating would be cool. |
| I always thought basketball with two balls on the floor would be worth seeing tried |
| Although that could get quite uncomfortable! rimshot |
Peter Jackson wants to film "Hobbit"
| Mmm, that'd be most appreciated |
| New Zealand film director Peter Jackson, tipped to win an Oscar for his "The Lord of the Rings" epic, says he would like to make "The Hobbit" prequel to the trilogy and work with some of the same actors again. |
| I always did like that little story |
| yes! it involved killing a dragon |
| It was a bit simpler, had a lot less Elvish, and was a good bit less sad |
| plus they can just reuse them Gollum models |
The Pie Race
| you bake a pie as fast as you can |
| you ride a unicycle, then you wear the pie on your head like a hat because it looks funny |
| it's the pie race |
| nobody understands the pie race |
| How many people can both bake a pie and ride a unicycle? |
| The set of those that can do both is smaller still |
| The set of that which can do it well, and quickly, minute |
| Also, headpies offer little in the way of protection in case you fall from your one-wheeled conveyance |
| no no, you don't get it |
| first you bake a pie, as fast as you can |
| then you ride a unicycle and wear the pie like a little hat |
| because it looks funny |
| it's the pie race |
| a little hat? how large are the hats you normally wear?! crazy oklahomans! |
| The Pie Race |
| Whats the best pie for The Pie Race? Is a cake race feasible? Whats the average and best times recorded in a pie race? What do you do while you're waiting for your pie to bake? |
| see, you don't get it. no one understands the importance of The Pie Race |
| it's very simple once you understand it, and The Pie Race explains everything |
| The Pie Race |
| The point at which no one else in the universe understands the importance of somthing, you might stop to consider that they might be onto something |
| no, it's The Pie Race |
| On your next census, in the "race" section, check Other, and write-in: "Pie" |
| you wear the pie on your head because it looks funny |
| Ah... ok. |
| you have to bake the pie as fast as you can |