 | ALLAY LOO TA NUV |
 | Tee hee |
| Is there a script available? |
| Yo quiero lyrics |
| http://members.aol.com/forknistl/starwars/swewok.html |
| Oh, thats disappointing, I thought you figured out the words yourself |
| I have this all memorized, I've recited it with a Shatner cadence |
| Get me a Walken version |
| A day later, I return to report I am quite pissed off that you caused me to have this song in my head ALL DAY LONG. |
Changed your mind on Superbowl matchup?
| No idea at the moment |
| Lots of very excellent teams |
 | like Baltimore |
| Pats, Ravens, Panthers, Chiefs, Eagles (ack!), Colts, Titans, etc. |
| I would remove the Colts from that list |
| They beat a good Titans team again today |
| But we know where your hatreds lie |
| Its manning, for jesus' sake |
| MANNING! |
| Nevertheless, the team is winning regular season games |
| Still not sold one way or another on Dallas, Seattle, or Minnesota |
| yes, but as long as manning QBs that team, they're automatically not making it to the superbowl |
| Aye, I was listing good teams, not superbowl contenders, though |
| Pats have had 7 wins over teams with winning records |
| The chances of Manning winning one playoff game, let alone two, or possibly three, are just too minute |
| agreed |
| You would have to be stupid to bet against the Pats at this point |
| anyone could come out of the AFc |
| Including the Lions?! :) |
| Baltimore looks unbeatable, KC looks solid, Pats.. ZOW |
| The cold weather, stadium, and Vinatieri advantage are too much for the Pats |
| brady is no slouch |
| Vinatieri wins playoff games more than anything in that organization |
| UCS, ranked 1 in the human polls, is 3rd in the total BCS? |
| and whats funny is that USC doesn't even care |
| Didn't see that coming |
| USC/UM will be a fine game |
| they're content going to the Rose |
| if they beat UM, they'll win the AP National Championship |
| Bogglelicious |
| Congress won't stand for this |
| in my opinion, if it had been anything but this, there'd be problems |
| Its not the fact that its wrong, but that its complicated |
| ah |
| Although your own opinion about conference champions.... OU lost their championship game but are still #1, eh? :) |
| any way you slice it, it'll be a hell of a rose bowl |
| well, I'm saying how they should fix situations like this |
| So there's almost like two national championship games this year |
| yes |
| USC is No. 1 for the first time in 22 years, garnering 42 first-place votes (1,595 points). |
| I also like the rematch of Miami and Ohio State |
| indeed! |
| But with no Dorsey and no McGahee and no Clarett |
| As consolation prizes go, playing Michigan in the Rose Bowl is one very lovely parting gift. But, come on. Were the Wolverines 11-1 and facing the possibility of not playing for the national championship, Lloyd Carr would be calling for a Congressional investigation. (From this) |
| Yet another year the Pac-10 will not win a BCS championship, the only major conference still waiting |
| And I don't see any other Pac-10 team besides USC fielding a top team next year, either |
| haw haw |
| The poor USC athletic department thinks they're guaranteed a spot in the championship |
| Or at least they're wording it that way, banking their hopes on the AP loophole |
| bizarre: for the first time in BCS history, someone got Quality Win points off of the #1ranked team |
| zow |
| Although I did have a season in NCAA 2003 with some very quality opponents in which I ended up with a negative BCS total due to the quality win bonuses |
| Odd, Miami of Ohio got one 3 and two 4 rankings out of the computers |
| Which is why Michigan has some 5s and 6s from the computerse |
| wacky |
I had a dream last night that I was DDR'ing to video game music
| Since DDR is a video game, isn't the music you normally dance to already video game music?... |
| The song in Bomberman was one of them that I remember |
| Haha! |
| I mean, classic video games |
| the Megaman 3 songs were also available as choices |
| I find myself humming the Super Mario Bros. 2 character selection screen and first level music, those are both excellent tunes |
| It seems that, despite better hardware, music in videogames is not much better |
| Same can be argued for gameplay |
| I like 2-D platform games! |
| And for effecient code on today's high-powered machines |
| Basically, when you have a lot at your disposal, creative use of those resources goes down |
| see, I think development cost has a lot to do with it |
| Spending more money on a game = worse game music? |
| worse games |
| more money being spent = more oversight and nervous management = less room to be creative and take some risks on cool new ideas |
| its like a backup QB. When you have nothing to lose, you often go out and play better |
| This situation is identical to the current state of the space industry |
| That is, we show up in your dreams |
I think the BCS formula should be ammended
| My thinking if you don't win you CONFERENCE championship, you shouldn't play for the NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP |
| so, conference champs should get a deduction from their BCS score |
| fuck the Independents |
| I think a move like this would then also force all conferences to have a championship game |
| Big10 has one |
| Hehe, an official one |
| ah |
Well I get totally shafted when it comes to NFL tomorrow
| Early game: the riveting OAK/PIT |
| Late game: top contenders ARI/SF |
| I would argue that TB/NO, WSH/NYG, DAL/PHI, SEA/MIN, CIN/BAL, IND/TEN, CHI/GB, MIA/NE, NYJ/BUF, KC/DEN, CAR/ATL are all more interesting |
| Leaving just DET/SD and HOU/JAX as worse or as-bad games |
| Guess I'll have to take over the world tomorrow instead of watching football |
| I'll be watching my beloved ravens delivering a smackdown |
| I should get you a big Brian Billick poster for xmas |
I like the new Tracy Morgan show
| he beat up Santa! |
| One of the black guys from SNL? |
| yes |
| Doesn't he play the crazy, creepy, stupid guy in the ESPN video game commericials? |
| he'd be the one |
| Is the sole redeeming virtue a Santa-beating? |
| no, it had me cracking up |
| Probably because you've spent a week coding at a computer to come home and code at a computer all night and are thusly quite insane especially since the prior weekend you weren't able to properly relax due to travel and family |
| I demand a second opinion! |
| Renae liked it |
| Well huh |
| Maybe she has a thing for Tracy Morgan and his endowments |
| So, what style of humor is this show? |
| smartass kids, idiot dad style humor |
| Is there anything sexy in it? |
| his wife! |
| Is she really? |
| GIS says yes  |
| I... uh.... need a second opinion? |
| one word... TIVO |
| Your TiVo got a boner? Fantastic. |
| ask yourself how many sitcom wives can pose like that |
| I would, but he's in a bad mood |
pantsbot statistics sugggestions
| The third 'g' is for 'gay' |
| Average length of comments in words and characters for all commenters, and each commenter |
| Average length per word in characters |
| Most common words, least common words used |
| Most common domain names linked to |
| warren loves the statisticses |
| Commenter characterization: average word length, monologue tendency, sole-commenter tendency |
| Time-density of threads |
| (ie, over the last 10 months, when have we posted the most threads) |
| this was clear |
| Average daytime (hour) time-density of comments (when are we most likely to comment) |
| okay, I'll get on it! |
| A "banter" measurement, which could be measured by threads which have alternating commenters with short lines |
| Random quote producer as well, only draws from comments that have one of the 10% least common words in it |
| Percentage of threads with links or not |
| Percentage of sad/angry/normal emotions, percentage of comments with exclamation points or question marks |
| Who uses commas and semicolons the most |
| In-line image stats, what percentage threads have them, who posts them the most |
| Stats on italics and strikethroughs |
| Frequency of polls, average number of responses in polls, average lopsidedness of polls |
| Percent characters capitalized by commenter |
| And maybe, just maybe, if we get all of these stats produced, we can start to understand this complex system for what it truly is |
| And then model a pantalog simulator! |
| Then we can finally retire! |
| I could just peel some of these off. I need a flexible stats maker |
| like, embed excel in pantsbot |
| Sounds like a worthy little project |
| Some standard deviation style "consistency" stats would be interesting as well |
| Who's the most consistent and not with comment on items, commenting a % of the responses, a # of responses, and average length of responses, and average word length |
| Studying the value of consistent systems and the metrics that reveal that value intrigues me |
| really? I never would have guessed |
| I'm genuinely interested in which thread is the longest, both in # of comments and in # of words |
| I have an idea of which it might be, but I ain't countin' |
| Average thread length over time would be interesting to see |
| Unlike the 'tron I don't think we've gone down with time |
 | ... yet |
| its easy to fix. you just go "hey warren! tell me about google!" |
| Do I wax excessively prolific about google? Alas |
| count |
| Percentage of links that are title-links and ones that are comment-links |
| Percentages of who gets the last word on a thread the most often |
| a corollary to comments per thread, its percentage of threads that a person comments on |
| number of unique words over time |
| Most rare words used, ranked by google hits for that word (Tony's great idea0 |
this may be the best fark photoshop contest EVER
| Chairman Mao's Rap album is the theme |
| my favorite is the Mao Wow one |
| I'm at 54001 |
| oh my funny! |
| 151969 |
| Thats a bear? |
| Speaking of primes, a question on my mind: what percentage of numbers are prime? This bear calculates the percentage for a set of numbers, N, but what happens as N approaches infinity? If there's a finite number of primes then x/inf = 0, and 0% of numbers are prime, but if there is a non-zero percentage, then what is it? |
| I think there are lots of prime numbers. Don't worry |
| The source code for this webpage and the comments there-in are quite entertaining |
| 439427 |
| I like how the Fins can express something like "Prime Number Shitting Bear" is less words than it takes English |
| 559799 |
| 1017179 |
Who will nebraska hire next season?
| BSU coach? |
| Neuheisel? |
| Lloyd Carr? |
| Foiba! |
| Phil Condit! |
| Jesus' landlord! |
| Think they'll go in house? |
| Bob Davies! |
| oh god no |
| I got to listen to Denny Green on ESPN Radio on XM Satellite |
| he is a super-guru |
| Oprah!~ |
| John Madden! |
 | you can't take anything seriously |
| Because they will surely hire someone we don't know from their coaching ranks or a old ex-player |
| well, you could have just said that |
| or Sylvester Croom |
| Or the PCP/cocaine crazed fat man from the Cincinnati White Castle |
The best thing about a new month is a fresh set of search strings
| wonder if suzy kolber will retain the crown |
| Oh she will... her and her pictures and her nude and her nudity and her naked |
| and our nude nightcrawler pictures aren't hurting |
A thought on extrasolar planets
| Back when it was all the craze in astronomy to be announcing the discovery of planets around other stars, surely the reader remembers how they were all massive gas giants |
| All measured in how many times larger than Jupiter they were, 2.6 or 3.7 Jupiters sized planets |
| I've never been fond of this idea of nothing but solar systems with a one (or a few) mega-sized planets |
| So, one questions the detection method: the "wobble" of the star due to the planet's orbit |
| So the question at hand: would a system of 10 smaller planets, like ours, produce a net effect that could appear to look like, over short time periods (the year or so the data was collected), a single planet in the disturbances caused on the star? |
| Its the astronomical equivalent of "effective mass" |
| I would not be surprised to see in the coming years or decades, a revised statement about these single mega-planet systems and a revealing of their true many small-planet nature |
| there is a wobble, but it is less pronounced |
| the sun orbits the earth, in a sense |
| even lil ol mercury makes the sun wobble |
| Yes, but a system of planets that are slightly in-sync (similarly phased) will look like a single big planet if you're just looking at the wobble |
| Especially in short time periods |
Crazed, PCP-filled, cocaine-doing 350 lb fat man attacks police and gets beaten to death
| Gotta love America |
|  |
| whats with the political commentary? |
| The police arrived after he was found unconscious on the floor of a Cincinnati White Castle |
| Its Monday, a.k.a. Political Commentary Day |
| Next time I'm 350 pounds, high on PCP, and unconscious in a White Castle, I'm going to do like Nathaniel Jones would do |
| oh. I thought now is the day we are supposed to talk about the Return OF Vick |
| He looked slow |
| The jets were not there |
| they play tonight |
| And lo, they shall not be there |
| In a related story... Doctors Urged to Treat Obesity More Aggressively |
| Can't get much more aggressive than beating obesity to death with a metal nightstick! |
| and dislocated his arm in the process! |
| I'd like to see the video |
| As was pointed out to me not long ago: if its a joint, it can be dislocated |
| some joints dislocate in a more gruesome fashion than others |
| Elbows seem to be up there |
| I wouldn't want to see an ankle dislocation |
| or a neck dislocation |
'Extinct' warbler found in Fiji
| I'm back! |
| yay? |
Could Lisa Guerrero wear anything more hideous?
| She has this pastel blue exercise thing on thats all lumpy and baggy |
| And she's an old dried up ugly wench herself |
| who cares. the game isn't worth watching |
| With her nasty clumpy hair all stuck to one side |
| <--- Misses the omnicute Melissa Stark |
| I think Suzy Kolber would have been the logical choice for the spot |
| Cute: |
|  |
| she;s pencil thin in person |
| Hag: |
|  |
| I have a theory that John Madden vetoed the Suzy Kolber selection |
| didn't want to have a competent analyst showing him up? |
More Google Thoughts
| Challenge: whats the greatest search time you can get google to return? |
| Question: what percentage of sites have a #1ranking in some set of keywords |
| New feature: The ability to enter a website, and see all of the combination of keywords that result in a #1ranking |
| I think the last one is probably computation or memory intensive |
| Might cost $10 to use that feature |
| Every website I've ever been a part of has had a #1ranking in SOME combination of key words |
| An astute audience member might try to link me to a research paper on using customized, generated, keywords to create a "permanent" link to a site through google |
| well, you use fancy words like bosomy |
| Are there really websites out there that cannot be listed as #1with any combination of keywords? |
| How does the number/percentage vary with length of search string, N? |
| If I made a web site that was just "PORN XXX", it would never be #1 |
| Some examples of our |
| dominance at this discipline |
| I'd wager I could find 50 such sets of keywords easily |
| Unique sets, that is |
| Sets with overlapping words grows into the thousands |
| using webalizer? |
| No, I'm just looking at our archives and picking interesting phrases or words |
| No webpage has apparently ever said "micromanagey" before, for example |
| a tribute to our originality |
| Is the rest of humanity just stupid? |
| Still, I'd like to draw attention back to my challenge to find the longest Google search time |
| Freakin' Google returns the 3.3 billion pages with the letter "a" in them in 0.32 seconds! |
| Oddly, Google finds more pages with the letter "a" in them than the front page claims they have pages indexed! |
| 3,320,000,000 vs 3,307,998,701 |
| Additional challenge to the reader: record the number of pages with the letter "a" in it daily, as well as the front-page index size number, and plot over time, as well as compare and contrast the differences |
| what would be the point? |
| To satisfy my curiosity |
| You could plot how many pages Google index every day |
| And compare their "claimed" number versus their "returned" number |
| Check this out |
| The last set of search results Google will give on the "a" search |
| In order to show you the most relevant results, we have omitted some entries very similar to the 904 already displayed. |
| Google is thus saying they believe that there are only 904 unique pages out of 3.3 billion |
| The rest are just copies and permutations of those 904 |
| I'd be interesting to plot that number (904) over time |
| Does it go up? Hold about constant over time? |
| man, you have a strange mind |
| I LIKE PLOTTING THINGS |
| what is your favorite software for doing so? |
| Excel, then Matlab |
| Depends on the complicatedness of the data and the number of dimensions involved |
| excel! hah! 65535 points! Inadequate! |
| Excel is great at letting you see all the data and manipulate it quickly and easily |
| Obviously it has limitations |
| But no one tool solves all problems, a good engineer knows when to use each tool for what they're best at |
| Sticking to one tool because you believe it gives you an ideological advantage is a good way to never get laid |
| This search got me a 1.09 second search time |
| ooh, some refreshes got that up to 1.91 seconds! beat that! |
| Quick update: search for "+a", now yields 3,070,000,000 pages. I'm an idiot, a search for "the" gives 5,120,000,000 hits, far far larger than the number of pages Google claims to have. |
John Madden just talked about Keyshawn's johnson
| Specifically saying that what Keyshawn's johnson was, Joe Jurevicius will be |
| he says a lot of dumb shit |
| I just tune him out |
| And something about someone cutting Keyshawn's johnson |
Jaworski is growing a mullet
| The apocalypse is nigh |
| I read that as "JANIKOWSKI IS GROWING A MULLET" |
| that'd be funny |
| And equally apocalypse nigh-provoking |
| FBI agents have nabbed a Sunnyvale encryption software developer who allegedly made death threats against a Canadian Internet company he wrongly believed responsible for sending him penile enlargement ad e-mails. |
| The endless "want a bigger one?," "grow longer with the patch" and "add three inches" messages are a maddening plague upon most people's e-mail inboxes. Prosecutors allege they drove Charles T. Booher, 44, to distraction -- and onto the wrong side of the law. |
| I swear it wasn't me. |
| Although, I do hate Canadian Internet companies and have no need for such emails. |
| I like how in other cities, people are "consumers" or "motorists" or "residents" in news stories, but in Sunnyvale its "developer" |
| heh |
| sunnyvale:developer::nebraska:farmer |
| But, alas, no one ever covets a developer's daughter |
| well, they may, but developers are not badasses that come after you with shotguns |
| Hehe, yeah, developers suck. |
| Best webpage title ever |
| I had thought gold teeth were permanant |
| I had too! |
| I could have sworn I heard flavor flav had aching jaws from all his gold teeth |
| Is "Iced Out" an adjective, or an actual type of Gold Teeth? |
| Maybe Flav's weren't Iced Out |
| these teeth are fancy!  |
| Iced out means the gold teeth have diamonds or some other jewels in them |
| Wouldn't that cut you up like a motherfucker? |
| not if properly made |
| Remind me not to get orally pleasured by anyone with any Iced Out mouth enhancements |
| will do |
| these creep me out |
| Any encounter with those can't end well. |
| Alternatively you can also go to any jeweler in your area and have them size the spot on your finger where you want to wear your fingernail. |
| this one looks like the Alien is popping out of it  |
| Hmm, where do I want to wear my fingernail? Hmm, perhaps my forehead, or my bicep! |
| it says "the spot on your finger" |
| I'm assuming they fit like a ring |
| I have fingers everywhere |
| I do too. Just ask your mom |
| With clientele like this, they can't go wrong': |
|  |
| whats this guy holding?  |
| if you guessed BELT BUCKLE, you are correct |
| Indubitably, if I had a girlfriend named Elaine, I would purchase this for her: |
|  |
| why? you could just get her THIS ONE: |
|  |
| Hmm, is the point of the Elaine one for her to wear it, or for me to wear it? |
| Wearing a belt with her own name seems silly, but then again, wearing a gigantic buckle with a girls name on it would seem a bit strange on myself as well |
| Perhaps I should make our dog wear it |
| you have a dog? |
| If I have a girlfriend named Elaine, I think we'll have a dog |
| Have they misspelled their own website here?: |
|  |
| thats great,but who are the CHEFS? |
Anthony Wright, the Ravens QB, is naming his soon to be newborn child TRINITY
| he must LOVE the matrix |
| Or the bible |
| indeed. |
| Or perhaps the child was conceived during a threesome |
| the child is going to be a girl, if that helps any analysis of this |
I need to watch fewer westerns
| I'm going to be too BADASS |
| I'm going to have to watch Oxygen for a few days to even things out |
As if the home theatre craze wasn't enough...
| You can apparently get a Lincoln-Mercury minivan with a THX-certified theatre sound system in it |
| George Lucas decided he wasn't making enough money and wanted in on the mini-van market apparently |
| He will profit off of all of your stupid indulgences! |
|  |
| It seems that its easier to put good sound systems in cars |
| But alas, not good video |
when confronted with the question, "You had three timeouts left, why didn't you try to drive down the field and possibly get a field goal", lloyd carr responded, "why would you ask a stupid question like that"
| if you were the reporter, what would your response be? |
| mine would be, "because you'd have to be an idiot not to" |
| mine would be, "because three million people want an explanation" |
| or "because OSU can't seem to stop your offense" |
| or "because kneeling tells your team you have no confidence in them" |
| or "so it is because you want OSU to carry the momentum into the half" |
| Carr later apologized: "I want to publicly apologize to Todd Harris, the entire ABC crew, Keith Jackson and Dan Fouts, for my rude behavior," Carr said. "It was inexcusable." |
| Steps on Michael Vick's foot when he's trying to recover |
| "Duh sorry coach, I didn't see the little guy" |
| It was a guard on the o-line |
I think its great that there is a 14 year old pro soccer player, yet no pro maurice clarett
| suck on that OSU |
A feature for Google Image Search to add
| Displaying five random pictures from its database |
| I would find that fascinating |
| Then again, almost any search using GIS results in about five seemingly random pictures |
| However, not all random searches result in random results |
| A corollary to these ideas might go: for any google image search returning at least N hits, X% are images of furries |
| intriguing! |
| I don't approve of this idea |
| It hurts no one! |
| it hurts my feelings |
| Nothing like random insanity inserted into a perfectly fine thread |
This diaweblog item got me thinking
| if people name their kids after consumer products, why are movie names so uncommon |
| like "Neo" and "Trinity" |
| or "Obiwan" |
| They're equally common, but less publicized |
| The brand name child names publicization greatly misconstrue their popularity |
| I wonder if there is a kid named c3po |
| I'm not sure if they allow numbers in names |
| they? |
| The combined governments of the world |
| They're coming over to watch the game with me on Saturday |
| good thing I got that thing off your couch |
| Your mom? No she came back a few days later |
| EXCELLENT! I am hoping we move up the momjoke rankings soon |
| Shameless web result plug: these hot sexy suzy kolber videos and nude tina fey photos don't compare to these naked alex flanagan pics linked to here |
| you scalawag |
| I've scalawagged before and I'll scalawag again... anything for those michael vick NCAA madden videos and cheat codes |
Pants is the most entertaining blog
Poll Results
Total votes: 6
| I thought we established that vinnie's was the best |
| We = everyone who reads Pants?/ |
| we == me |
| like you matter |
| Well if you disagree with Pants' superiority, you should state the reasons why Vinnie's is superior |
| he posts results of his purity tests |
| he has a nice picture of a bald guy with glasses |
| Psh, unless he posts the answers to each question, the citizens are unimpressed |
| what question? |
| The Purity Test questions |
| I bet I could guess at his answers |
| I should make a game of guessing what he answered and see how close I get to his score |
| I could too... as my evil twin, I would just pick the opposite of my answers |
| Something about the idea of you sitting at your computer divining a guess towards whether or not Vinnie has been in a circle jerk is beyond disturbing |
| like that question even needs any thought |
| Then the question is: what was the radius of that circle |
| I'm glad you didn't ask the circumference |
man, if it was like 5 years ago...
| venture capitalists would be swarming to read pants for our insightful product ideas |
| We're the web's top think-tank for zany solutions to the problems facing young, affluent Americans! |
| what brings this up, is that I think there needs to be a tivo ipod |
| Did that idea not get pantsed? |
| I thought we discussed it in real life |
| Your ideas intrigue me |
| in any case, you plug it into your tivo, sync up shows, then can carry it around |
| As I commented below on #594, the commericials that look good in TiVo fast-forward is astoundingly brilliant |
| I think the tivopod would be great for all the minivans with tvs now |
| not much more than a HD with rca plugs |
| ship it with DC input, you'd have a goldmine |
| I think the proper way to describe this idea is that its a play-only TiVo, no record capability, and thus you can make it smaller |
| The set of people with both TiVos and minivans with televisions is quite small... nevertheless they do have a large budget for frivolous things |
| if I could count the times I wish I could take my tivo places.... |
| and I don't think DVD is the portabilty answer |
| Well, bringing a DVD with you isn't much of a solution because you need a DVD player still, the key with this device is that its the player and the media in one |
| I actually think this would make me buy a minivan, rather than make minivan buyers get tivos |
| The day Tony buys a minivan is the day I buy him his port-a-TiVo for him. |
| You might as well confess your love for Ohio while you're at it |
| I have to drive through ohio next week. glad I ain't got MI plates anymore |
| specially since we're going to put the smack down this weekend |
| Especially after whats going to happen on Saturday |
| I guess in the end, I would have to see just how small one could make a fully functional TiVo player before I totally buy into this idea |
| And the price |
| And the storage capacity |
| surely you've seen the mini dvd players |
| with screens |
| Aye |
| hence, video decoding can be done with a small footprint |
| This is a device that reaches appeal when I can fit it into my cargo pockets |
| For less than the price of a TiVo |
| And have 6 hours of video on it |
| And has a rechargable 6 hour battery |
| I think apple needs to buy tivo |
| Also, I dislike the precendent of calling anything that stores and plays back a "pod" |
| or better, tivo buy apple |
| rename ipods i-vos |
| Whats the exact reasoning behind the name "TiVo" anyway? |
| Just don't let them combine this device with a cell-phone and a PDA to create an unholy abomination |
| yes SIR! |
If you plan to buy a DDR Mat...
| I've found this "Naki" brand mat to be sublime |
| nice and grippy |
| and it has LEDs! |
| extending the idea of controllers and mice with fans to avoid hand sweat, I need DDR mat that blows on my ass |
| Seems to defeat the purpose of a wife |
| Isn't there some payment due for clothing shrunk? |
| well, we DDR together. its very cute, actually. |
| And what does your dog do? |
| we have to lock it in the kitchen |
| Would the ass receiving the cooling be bare, or draped in clothing? |
| Seems like you're not going to get much affect from any airflow unless the ass is bare |
| you know little of ddr thermodynamics |
| I simply know that a hot ass, covered by underwear and pants/shorts, does not receive significant cooling from any airflow across those pants |
I hope this isn't my fault...
| But of the 6 women at work, 4 are pregnant |
| Its quite amazing how many there are |
| Its like working in Utah or something |
| They're all of various stages of ginormousness |
| The biggest problem when I was new on the program: you can't assume someone's pregnant, the slight chance your wrong and thus massively insulting is too great |
| So needing to verify that four very oddly plump women were actually pregnant took a while! |
| There's going to be a whole heck of a lot of maternity leave at just the wrong time for us |
| isn't that what temps are for? |
| HOT temps |
| That doesn't work in this business for a variety of reasons. |
| But I'd be glad to "interview" a whole slew of 'em |
| we need a randall graves character |
| just for the "slurp slurp slurp" lines |
I think Mr. PoopInCloset got a new hair-doo
| You just realized this? What, 30 hours since you last saw him? |
| I didn't mention it yesterday |
| I was not interweb enabled when I noticed |
| did you get the "hair-doo" pun? |
| Delicious |
| You should spend $40/month like other people do so you can have IRC access anywhere |
| yes. seems that that would really increase my irc'ing |
| I think Mr. PoopInCloset (I prefer Mr. PoopedInCloset) is trying to fit in |
| those people will have fun search terms in their webalizer |
| Truly that is the best part of this business |
| business? you getting money for this? |
| I don't pay$40 for the internet access |
| Your mother must be proud |
| I was distracted this weekend by Jeff Rowland's attempt to do a 24 page comic book in 24 hours. |
Fun problem to ponder for those of you inclined
| The problem at hand: average distance between a set of points |
| Easy to calculate, for each point, calculate the distance to every other point, take the average of that total |
| So here's the problem: Given the average distance, how might you distribute the points? |
| In X-Y space, for a set of N points around a center point C, how might one distribute them such that the average of the distances from each point to every other point is equal to R? |
| I'd recommend looking at the 1-dimensional problem, looking at the relationship to standard deviation, and looking at points distributed around the circumference of a circle |
| Then the real fun part: how do you distribute them in such a way that the shortest distance to visit all of those points is maximized? (A travelling salesman problem) |
| Or more simply, how do you maximize the minimum distance between any two points? |
| Something about co-centric circles of radius 0.5R and 1.5R might be the trick, or a whole slew of circles, with points oppositely spaced aroudn it |
| the prolog way is to guess points until the average is equal |
| Hmm, guessing points seems like it could take a while, I'm looking for something more algorithmic |
| did you solve this already, and you're just feeling like being the puzzlemaster? |
| This is relevant to a real problem I have, and I think I have a solution to the first part, but not the maximizing the shortest distance part |
| But I'd genuinely appreciate an independently developed solution, for the purposes of peer review |
| The question might be: is this a problem that can't be solved any other way than brute force? |
| I think it can be solved with triangles in 2 dimensions |
| tesselations |
| Another fine question along these lines: for a given R, and the appropriate distributions, whats the difference between the maximum and minimum shortest travel routes? (worst case and best case travel distance for a given R) |
is there a good way to tell someone that their website makes you vomit
| I'm not talking about ones taht use psychadelic colors |
| or liberal use of <blink> |
| I'm talking about the vomit from seeing Doug Christie signal his beotch for the 100th time in a game |
| Obviously, you must construct a tribute page to this person, an atrocity that makes them vomit in equal, or greater, volume |
| Was it not Jesus who taught us "A vomit for a vomit" ? |
| heh, like the "lil warren" page we made? |
| |
| you misunderstand! |
| |
| that was a tribute! |
| Might I speculate, without inference, that if a page doesn't have problems with psychadelic colors, or blinking graphics, that the problem is the content |
| So the content (ie, text) is either so poorly written (grammar, spelling), or the actual message of the text is vomit inducing |
| yes |
| For example, whiny boring blogs about the mundane details of someone's life might be the source problem |
| For everyone with a blog about their lives, I recommend the following: SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHUT DOWN YOUR WEBPAGE, IT SUCKS, YOU IDIOT! |
| you have strong feelings on this issue |
| Its better than vomit |
| Additionally, unless there's a gun to your head I'm not aware of: STOP VISITING CRAPPY WEBSITES, YOU IDIOT! |
| I was trickorated |
| May your tears of vomit redeem your sin |
| I like vinnie's livejournal, and its about his life |
| ... no comment |
| how could you say that? |
| Many mammals have been lured by Vinnie before... to their ultimate doom |
| I heard it was more than just mammals |
| Organisms with Holes:Vinnie :: Young Boys:Priests |
| Challenge to the reader: find all organisms that have no holes, and then tempt Vinnie with them |
So I thought I was gaining weight
| my pants were feeling more snug |
| my shirts seemed to be fitting differently |
| so I figured I was up to like 250 |
| so I hop on the scale |
| I've lost weight |
| damn wife been shrinking my clothes! |
| I tell you, thats a better weightloss plan than Dr. Phil |
Results of the East Coast NCAA 2004 Extravaganza
| 3-3 |
| Winner in BOLD |
| Tony on Left |
| USC v. KSU - Warm Up |
| FLO v. UGA - SEC Squabble |
| UMich97 v. OU85 - Battle of Greats |
| Vandy v. BGSU - Blipper Bowl |
| S.Miss v. Missouri - Yellow and Black |
| Marshall v. WVU - Battle for West Virginia |
| We ran out of themes |
| And sanity |
| Also, worst. bold. ever. |
| indeed |
| Hmm, it may not be clear, but this was Tony vs. Warren, my teams are listed on the right |
| oh yeah, Tony on Left does not indicate warren on right |
| it could have been Mr. Miagi |
| Something about Mr. Miagi controlling Ell Roberson makes me believe there's an erotic fanfic about that somewhere on the Internet |
I hear Doug Christie is going to retire next year
| he's going to design purses for his wife's design company |
| thats what he wants to do |
| his wife wants him in the NBA so he can finance her money pit |
| "money pit" is east-coast talk for "vagina" ? |
| I meant her design business, silly |
| You haven't lived until you've made money designing vaginas |
| you do realize that there are people taht actually do that |
| And man, have they lived! |
| the glamorous life of sex-change doctors |
| I hear you can get ones with fins |
| And speed holes |
| tee hee |
| Hmm, going to need a thesaurus for that... |
| you need a reverse dictionary |
| Marius? |
| is a vaginologist? |
| Clarify English Language:Dictionary :: Muddle English Language:Marius |
| How about "Gender Reversal Engineer" ? |
| "Mental-Physical Gender Alignment Facilitator" ? |
| works for me |
| I was trying to make a mom joke based on that, but it didn't work |
| Your brain must be a mess. |
| like, "great, now I can tell your mom where to look in the phone book" |
| Yeah that isn't something you probably want to say |
| I wholeheartedly agree |
| (Foiba_) | i do too |
You know those banner ads that say you've won a prize?
| Or say "If this banner is flashing, you've won." ? |
| Someone should pay for a bunch of non-flashing "If this banner is flashing, you've won" ads, and a bunch of "I'm sorry, you aren't the winner, please try again." ads |
| Frankly, I bet those ads would get quite a few clickthroughs |
| Or the ones where you bash the monkey to win a prize? But make it REALLY hard to bash the monkey, make it move really fast, with a cursor with inertia and a 1-pixel target |
| Or the ones that ask really stupid trivia to win a prize? Get some mensa quality multiple choice |
| Can't you imagine grandma-clueless trying to win herself prescription drug money thinking these dastardly banner ads held untold riches? |
| like grandma-clueless is on the interweb |
| what do you think AOL is? who do you think fell for the nigerian email scams? |
| I didn't think anyone did |
| they made millions of dollars! |
| well, yeah, that was part of the deal, you get 56M, they get some on the side |
| add up that some on the side, and WHAMMO, they rich |
| I got $56,000,000? Wha? |
| wow, that looks a bit odd |
|  |
| huh, there is Lord of the Rings ones too |
Railroad Tycoon 3 - Initial Analysis
| it is quite slow, slow enough that I think it has a lot of bugs |
| its very hard to precisely lay tracks |
| its more tedious to build trains |
| (these comparisons are to Railroad Tycoon 2) |
| industry is less fun |
| Overall, a POOR game |
| gamespot review |
| "Railroad Tycoon 3 covers a lot of ground without miring you in details best left for unseen assistants" |
 | THATS WHAT WAS FUN ABOUT THE GAME |
| why are they not making games for micromanagers anymore? |
| Thats why I play my Classic games |
| I think I might like to start playing wargames |
| Too many strategy games these days are just sitting there hitting "Next Turn" and letting the AI play for you... ;( |
| the Hex Grid wargames like Panzer General |
| Fantasy General is far superior |
| Its truly fantastic |
| Same as Panzer General but with fantasy units: dragons and archers and mages, etc |
| must... micromanage... |
| SimGolf was pretty micromanagey |
Great use of that stock photo, yahoo
| Link |
|  |
| Hahah, it lacks any atomic weight or atomic number information! too funny |
| N! |
| nitrogen is such a lame element anyways |
saw matrix
| not as bad as I was led to believe it would be |
| Its not bad, its just a bit different |
| I liked it better than matrix 2 |
| although, might I add "WON'T YOU DIE ALREADY?!?" |